Advice for travelling with a stiffy

[PrincessBandit]

Buy a freshly baked muffin and stick into that. Keeps it tasty and stops some of the mess.

OMG, I don't think I even want to try and interpret that post. The mind boggles. (Or maybe I just have a dirty mind).

[doc]

Yup the ole RL Bedford use to do it every time. Once you got to the top of the Bombays they called it "Convoy Cock" Well thats what the old farts told me anyway.

[Indiana_Jones]

-Indy

[mashman]

Buy a freshly baked muffin and stick into that. Keeps it tasty and stops some of the mess.

heh, now that also adds safety features to the bike too... warm testicles (concentrating with cold'uns ain't easy) and a chocolate bollocks airbag...

[ducatilover]

OMG, I don't think I even want to try and interpret that post. The mind boggles. (Or maybe I just have a dirty mind).

I only meant the shaft of the penis, not the coin purse

[scracha]

Get a better tank protector ?

[scracha]

Maybe this one is more appropriate?

[oldrider]

Oopsie,

Riding home tonight, waiting at the lights on Remmers road, when all of a sudden I cracked the most raging uncontrolled hard on I’ve had in fecking years. No warning, no seeing Angeline Jolie in the car next to me, naked, eating a mince and cheese pie with a big smile on her face….it just jumped out of my pants like a fecking demented squirrel….

So, here I am, squirming with discomfort as the lights change and I’m off with the old fella resting hard up against the tank……then the car in front slams the anchors on, I follow suit and the purple headed monster slams into the tank….fucking-hell-on-earth, the pain of it, just about fainted with the shock.

I tried all the old methods of reducing the pan handle, you know, like when you are in the school hall at assembly just as it’s time to stand up and leave….or when you are on the bus and it’s arriving at your stop….right at that moment the old fella jumps and all of a sudden you have a jap eye broomstick poking out for all to see….all you can do is think of things that can only be described as the source of all drooping, such as:

- Owning a Holden
- The Briscoes lady “hunting for Red October” with Suzanne Paul
- The fucking Briscoes lady full stop
- Suzanne Paul
- Anything manufactured by Honda
- Helen Clarke getting it from behind from Paul Holmes
- A ‘Sorry, We Are Closed” sign on the door of any bakery

None of that worked, not even Ms Clarke copping a bell full of the mighty midget.

Got home still tri-podding, went to get off the bike and whacked my clanger of the tank…..AGAIN….ended up in a heap on the floor. Just managed to get up the stairs and into the house when wee willy winkie decided to go back to sleep, what a drama…

So, anyone got any tips for cooling the effects of a rager when on the road…for the love of God, someone please enlighten me…..

As for Angeline and that pie……

Easy fixed: Live a full life and it will all stop as you approach seventy and you will never have to worry about it again.....!!!! Well, so they say!