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Thread: Psychiatrists vs. Bartender

  1. #1
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    Psychiatrists vs. Bartender

    EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE
    UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM
    'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody
    under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.'

    'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the shrink. 'Come
    talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of
    those fears..'

    'How much do you charge?' 'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the
    doctor. 'I'll sleep on it,' I said.

    Six months later the doctor met me on the street. 'Why didn't you
    come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.

    'Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful
    lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have
    saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!'

    'Is that so!' With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask,
    did a bartender cure you?'

    'He told me to cut the legs off the bed! - Ain't nobody under there now!!!'


    SCREW THOSE SHRINKS.. GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BARTENDER!
    Life is a gift that we have all been given. Live life to the full and ensure that you have absolutely no
    regrets.

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  2. #2
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    3rd November 2005 - 18:04
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    Sometimes the solution to a problem can really be that simple.

    Reminds me of the one about NASA having to spend millions developing a pen that would work in zero gravity. The Russians used a pencil.

  3. #3
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    3rd March 2007 - 19:28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finn View Post
    Sometimes the solution to a problem can really be that simple.

    Reminds me of the one about NASA having to spend millions developing a pen that would work in zero gravity. The Russians used a pencil.
    Sigh.

    http://www.snopes.com/business/genius/spacepen.asp


    Quote Originally Posted by White trash View Post
    I'm off to shoot a dairy owner and steal a hundred bucks from his till, if he dies, it's the dumb curries fault for not wearing a bullet proof vest.
    Quote Originally Posted by maddad View Post
    New Zealand, where cows are happy, men are men, sheep are nervous and horses are fast because they heard about the sheep.


  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by PirateJafa View Post
    What are you sighing for cuntface?

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finn View Post
    What are you sighing for cuntface?
    Why, your turn of phrase is so classy and mature Finn, it fair takes my breath away! Surely you must have learnt from Squidmark himself, to achieve such a mastery of the English language?






    Quote Originally Posted by White trash View Post
    I'm off to shoot a dairy owner and steal a hundred bucks from his till, if he dies, it's the dumb curries fault for not wearing a bullet proof vest.
    Quote Originally Posted by maddad View Post
    New Zealand, where cows are happy, men are men, sheep are nervous and horses are fast because they heard about the sheep.


  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by PirateJafa View Post
    Why, your turn of phrase is so classy and mature Finn, it fair takes my breath away! Surely you must have learnt from Squidmark himself, to achieve such a mastery of the English language?




    Nothing wrong with my command of the English language. It was a simple question. Would you like me to dumb it down for you so you can understand it?

  7. #7
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    Bartenders are just pharmacologists' with a limited drug inventory.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  8. #8
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    Awesome!!
    Quote Originally Posted by 325rocket View Post
    Isn't it a rectum stretching pain in the ring piece when the mrs wants to slip in a digit and wont use lube
    Quote Originally Posted by gatch View Post
    I don't need pills to make me blow massive loads
    Cold Kiwi

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