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Thread: Council job application

  1. #1
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    15th September 2005 - 04:40
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    Council job application

    (Just in case - yes I work for a council )

    A guy goes to the Local Council to apply for a job.

    The interviewer asks him, 'Are you allergic to anything?'

    He answers 'Yes - caffeine'

    'Have you ever been in the services?'

    'Yes,' he says. 'I was in Iraq for two years.'

    The interviewer says, 'That will give you 5 extra points toward employment,' and then asks, 'Are you disabled in any way?

    The guy says, 'Yes 100%...an bomb exploded near me and blew my testicles off.'

    The interviewer tells the guy, 'O.K. In that case, I can hire you right now. Normal hours are from 8 AM to 2 PM.
    You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10 AM every day.'

    The guy is puzzled and says, 'If the hours are from 8 AM to 2 PM, why don't you want me to be here before 10 AM?' '

    'This is a council job,' the interviewer says. 'For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls.

    No point in you coming in for that .

  2. #2
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    1st August 2007 - 21:17
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    nice...should send that to my wife...she is in a council too


  3. #3
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    4th May 2006 - 21:21
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    Hmmmm. I just resigned from a job in media and am going to work for a council.....

  4. #4
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    15th August 2006 - 17:33
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    i must be working for the wrong council we start at 7:30
    'Good things come to those who wait'
    Bollocks, get of your arse and go get it

  5. #5
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    30th March 2004 - 21:29
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    Blardy classic Nasty lol
    "If you haven't grown up by the time you turn 50, you don't have to!"

  6. #6
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    Mind you the guys I see are just as good as women,well the guys breastfeed a shovel handle as well as women do kids.
    Hello officer put it on my tab

    Don't steal the government hates competition.

  7. #7
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    26th September 2006 - 16:33
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    Job Interview

    A guy goes to the Local Council to apply for a job.

    The interviewer asks him, 'Are you allergic to anything?'

    He answers 'Yes - caffeine'

    'Have you ever been in the services?'

    'Yes,' he says. 'I was in Iraq for two years.'

    The interviewer says, 'That will give you 5 extra points toward employment,' and then asks, 'Are you disabled in any way?

    The guy says, 'Yes ...a bomb exploded near me and blew my testicles off.'

    The interviewer tells the guy, 'O.K. In that case, I can hire you right now.

    Normal hours are from 8 AM to 2 PM.

    You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10 AM every day.'

    The guy is puzzled and says, 'If the hours are from 8 AM to 2 PM, why don't you want me to be here before 10 AM?' '


    'This is a council job,' the interviewer says.

    'For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our bollox, not really any point in you coming in for that.'
    "Statistics are used as a drunk uses lampposts - for support, not illumination."

  8. #8
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    9th June 2005 - 13:22
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    Goodness gracious me Dave, I think you need to get yourself another job too!

    Too much time on your hands boy. Cheers, John.

  9. #9
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    4th May 2006 - 21:21
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    a/ that's an old joke
    b/ I work for a council - what are you trying to say?
    In space, no one can smell your fart.

  10. #10
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    13th April 2007 - 17:09
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    How to get a job at the council......

    A guy goes to the Local Council to apply for a job.

    The interviewer asks him, 'Are you allergic to anything?'

    He answers, 'Yes - caffeine'

    'Have you ever been in the services?'

    'Yes,' he says. 'I was in Iraq for two years.'

    The interviewer says, 'That will give you 5 extra points toward employment,' and then asks, 'Are you disabled in any way?’

    The guy says, 'Yes ...a bomb exploded near me and blew my testicles off.'

    The interviewer tells the guy, 'O.K. In that case, I can hire you right now.’

    Normal hours are from 8 AM to 2 PM.

    You can start tomorrow at 10 AM - and plan on starting at 10 AM every day.'

    The guy is puzzled and says, 'If the hours are from 8 AM to 2 PM, why don't you want me to be here before 10 AM?'

    'This is a council job,' the interviewer says. 'For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our bollocks. Not really any point you coming in for that.'

  11. #11
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    20th April 2003 - 08:28
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    How councils work

    A guy goes to the Local Council to apply for a job.

    The interviewer asks him, 'Are you allergic to anything?'

    He answers, 'Yes - caffeine'

    'Have you ever been in the services?'

    'Yes,' he says. 'I was in Iraq for two years.'

    The interviewer says, 'That will give you 5 extra points toward employment,' and then asks, 'Are you disabled in any way?’

    The guy says, 'Yes ...a bomb exploded near me and blew my hooha off.'

    The interviewer tells the guy, 'O.K. In that case, I can hire you right now.’

    Normal hours are from 8 AM to 2 PM.

    You can start tomorrow at 10 AM - and plan on starting at 10 AM every day.'

    The guy is puzzled and says, 'If the hours are from 8 AM to 2 PM, why don't you want me to be here before 10 AM?'

    'This is a council job,' the interviewer says. 'For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. Not really any point you coming in for that.'
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