Quick thinking

[Nasty]

A man in Tesco's tries to buy half a cauliflower. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole cauliflowers. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager 'Some prat out there wants to buy half a cauliflower.'

As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, 'And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.'

The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?'

' Liverpool , sir,' the boy replied.

'Well, why did you leave Liverpool ?' the manager asked.

The boy said, 'Sir, there's nothing but whores and footballers up there.'

'Really?' said the manager. 'My wife is from Liverpool .'

'You're kidding?' replied the boy. 'Who'd she play for?'

[wysper]

Thanks Nasty.
I needed that laugh then!

[slofox]

That's VERRRRY clever, Nasty....

[kevfromcoro]

This bloke wasnt quick enough.
True story.

Many years a go i was working in a supermarket
It was xmas eve and just on closing time.
A lady comes in and says i need a chicken
The boss reaches down the back of the meat cabinet.
There was only one left.
He pulls it out and says... there you go.$8
Hmm says the lady.. you havent got a bigger one have you?
the boss puts the chicken back in the cabinet. turns it over and says .. here you go $10.
Ok says the lady..
I will take the both of them.

[one fast tl1ooo]

Some days you just can't win

[pzkpfw]

I once asked a girl at Woolworths what half the big salami they had hanging there would cost. (I was getting snacks for my 30th).

She went to cut it in half.

I said "I don't know yet if I want it, I just want an estimate".

She said "I have to cut it in half to weigh it".

Took me ages to get her to just weigh the whole thing and tell me the price, so I could halve that for her.

(It was way too much so I didn't buy it. I don't think she got the point of why it was therefore good she'd not cut the thing up.)

[Virago]

Another true story...

Many, many years back, my dad went into a bookstore, which had a sale on. Spotting a sale table, he checked the sign - "$1.50 each, or 2 for $1.00". (This was back in the day when $1.00 went a long way).

As luck would have it, Dad only wanted one book. He went to the check-out and explained the pricing discrepancy, to no avail - "that will be $1.50, sir...".

He asked to speak to the manager, to no avail.

Okay, back to the table, picked up a second book at random. "That will be $1.00, sir".

Purchase made, Dad walked away. But as he did, he removed the unwanted book from the bag, and casually dropped it into the rubbish bin beside the counter...

[nothingflash]

A guy I work with went to Harvey Norman to buy a fridge a while back. They had 24 months interest free terms at the time but he wanted to pay cash.

Figuring that Harvey Norman would in effect be borrowing the money if he financed it yet would recover nothing from him (as the interest rate he would have paid was zero) he could see that Harvey Norman was much better off with him paying cash. With this mentality he asked if they would split the difference. He asked the guy what it would cost Harvey Norman if he financed it interest free but the guy didn't understand what he meant. He asked to speak to the Manager who got so confused in order to get rid of him (probably) he gave the fridge to him for $750 - down from $1,000. It pays to ask I guess