Square Testicles

[mossy1200]

Square Testicles


An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money to deposit.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.

The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'

The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I may bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.'

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eyelid. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'

'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.'

'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure..'

The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall... He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 yesterday that at around 10 o'clock this morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada !'

[crazyhorse]

> Little Johnny was at school one day and he watched his Daddy's car
> pass by the playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the
> car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny
> found this so exciting that he could not contain himself as he ran
> home and started to tell his mother.
> "Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods
> with
> Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss,
> then
> he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his
> pants
> off, then Aunt Jane........"
> At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an
> interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for suppertime. I want
> to
> see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
> At the dinner table, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny
> started his story about the car going into the woods, the undressing, Aunt
> Jane lying down on the back seat. Then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing
> the
> same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the
> Army."
>
>
> AND THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS:
>
> Sometimes you do need to listen to the whole story before you
> interrupt.