Young death - Donations

**paddy** · 23rd September 2009, 15:21

Hi Guys,

I have asked Anika to provide me with her bank account details so that WE can assist her in the most practical way that we can (given that we don't know her) - that is financially. I know from this thread and my email correspondence that she is only 19 and that she has an 8 month old son, Conner. I know that they certainly hadn't planned for such a loss.

I am putty out the call to all those abound in the Kiwibiker community. I would like to think that as a group we could pull together at least $1000. There are after all slightly over 1000 members. If, as a community, we can't do that then why are we bothering.

I know that there are accidents all of the time and I wouldn't always take this approach. I certainly don't want to minimise anyone elses suffering or pain. But I am touched by the young age of Alex, Anika, and Conner. I hope that we can take this opportunity for our assistance to go beyond condolences and moral support.

If people want to PM me, then as soon as I receive her bank details I will pass them on. Alternatively, you can get money directly to me and I will pass it on to her (I live in Whangaparaoa, I believe she is in that vicinity somewhere).

I'm have launched this off in a separate thread so that it is more obvious. Please see the original thread for condolences:

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/sh...d.php?t=108174

Patrick

As I was writing this post - Anika has responded. I am not going to post her account number here (PM me instead) - I know in theory that is fairly safe but I don't want to be the one that tempts fate. I did however want to post the rest of her email:

"Hi, my account number is XX. alex would be happy
to know there are people who care about his son. he was a really good
person and I believe he would have done the same for other
people.thank you so much" -- Anika

**imdying** · 23rd September 2009, 15:38

Originally Posted by paddy

If, as a community, we can't do that then why are we bothering.

Cause we're here to talk shit about bikes and not run a charity?

Having said that, shitty position to find yourself in, so feel free to PM the details through.

**alexm** · 23rd September 2009, 16:35

Hi,
I just wanted to say of course I expect nothing from total strangers. For those who want to help out of the kindness of their hearts I am so grateful at such a difficult time in which I am feeling suicidal while trying to take care of an 8 week old baby, and pay bills when now there is no income it really makes me believe there is goodness out there and maybe a reason to go on. In the future I would like to pay it forward to others who need help.

**Maha** · 23rd September 2009, 16:49

Originally Posted by alexm

Hi,
I just wanted to say of course I expect nothing from total strangers. For those who want to help out of the kindness of their hearts I am so grateful at such a difficult time in which I am feeling suicidal while trying to take care of an 8 week old baby, and pay bills when now there is no income it really makes me believe there is goodness out there and maybe a reason to go on. In the future I would like to pay it forward to others who need help.

There are lot of wonderful people here anika, dont ever feel that you will intruding if you want anything ok? Big Breathe sweetie, you have a wee man in your life that will always need you. It is the toughest of times for you right now, I cant even imagine how tough but, there is no shame in accepting money from people you dont know at a time like this.

Mark

**paddy** · 23rd September 2009, 16:49

Originally Posted by alexm

Hi,
I just wanted to say of course I expect nothing from total strangers. For those who want to help out of the kindness of their hearts I am so grateful at such a difficult time in which I am feeling suicidal while trying to take care of an 8 week old baby, and pay bills when now there is no income it really makes me believe there is goodness out there and maybe a reason to go on. In the future I would like to pay it forward to others who need help.

I suspect that may mean more to you than the money itself. Do go and speak with WINZ though. They will help you. What we can do for you financially will only carry you so far. (Although I hope the sentiment will carry you much further.)

P.

**Sheba** · 23rd September 2009, 17:16

I'm thankful some view this as a real community that can and will reach out to those who really need help. Take care Anika, you really are in my thoughts and prayers. Stand strong, you have wonderful memories, and are blessed with a child to carry you through.

**The Pastor** · 23rd September 2009, 18:18

I don't have much, but i can give a little, please PM me the number

**StoneY** · 23rd September 2009, 18:43

Originally Posted by renegade master

I don't have much, but i can give a little, please PM me the number

RM for once we are on the same page-

Organiser- Pm me details man- cant contribute till the 2nd but certainly worth a donation to wee Connor and Anika sanity

Anika, I cannot imagine the grief and anguish your facing right now, but be strong for the kids mate, just be strong

God bless you and the little ones, peace mate, peace

**jono035** · 23rd September 2009, 19:00

Let me know the details.

I agree with Maha, don't be afraid to ask for any other help, there are a lot of people here who would love to be able to help out in some way.

**spookytooth** · 23rd September 2009, 19:06

pm me a postal address i havent figured this internet banking shit out only know how to drive cheques

**Genestho** · 23rd September 2009, 19:07

Originally Posted by alexm

Hi,
I just wanted to say of course I expect nothing from total strangers. For those who want to help out of the kindness of their hearts I am so grateful at such a difficult time in which I am feeling suicidal while trying to take care of an 8 week old baby, and pay bills when now there is no income it really makes me believe there is goodness out there and maybe a reason to go on. In the future I would like to pay it forward to others who need help.

You will have entitlements, get a case manager from WINZ, you are entitled to so many hours free childcare if you have no income. Stop Mortgage payments and take a holiday from it for 3 months, if renting, ring your landlord - same thing. That should be enough time to sort finances.

You will get subsidised counselling through winz, visit the doctor, and he will refer you, that will enable the free childcare if you think you need it as well.
Don't be afraid to ask for tranquilisers either, I confess, I had a few halves. These will keep you calm as you deal with the funeral and the overwhelming paperwork to come.

Grief services is free.
ACC will pay towards the funeral, although you may have to be married! But the funeral home will give you a brochure which will have the info in it.

Through ACC you may be entitled to lump sum payments for you and bub, and weekly payments for you both till bub leaves home or is 16 - which ever comes first.

I know what you are going through as I had to look after a 7 month and three year old when my bloke was killed! There are heaps of widows with kids, but you may not feel like meeting people like that for a while.

If you want to talk pm me

First things first, get your tax numbers, birth certificates and marriage certificate if applicable - together, and the funeral home will enact the Death cert, you will need a few copies signed by a JP - For free JP's call Citizens Advice Bureaugh. (The task to do all of that is hard, I know - but you have to, get your family, and his family to help if you can't face it)

If there is no life insurance or no will, (or even if there is!) call ACC check your entitlements, if that's a zero, then call winz get a case manager, and explain.

Condolences to you, and bub.

Stay Strong, your wee bub needs you! PM if you need anything!!!!!!

**Mom** · 23rd September 2009, 19:09

Originally Posted by alexm

Hi,
I just wanted to say of course I expect nothing from total strangers. For those who want to help out of the kindness of their hearts I am so grateful at such a difficult time in which I am feeling suicidal while trying to take care of an 8 week old baby, and pay bills when now there is no income it really makes me believe there is goodness out there and maybe a reason to go on. In the future I would like to pay it forward to others who need help.

Hey sweetie, being a new Mom is hard enough without having to attempt to cope with the loss of your lovely man as well. Concentrate on the most important thing here, and that is you

You need to step back and "be" at the moment, your little man needs you. Let those that can help you out, help you, and most importantly you must ask for help when you need to. There are no prizes for being tough in these situations. May you be overwhelmed with support at this horrible time in your life.

Anne