Young death - Donations

[Genestho]

Hi Wendy,
Yea someone did move into "our" house really loved it there and our new life together there, such a nice place to bring up your children..but I know I would have never been able to stay there it was too painful. Got a guy from the serious crash unit coming tomorrow to tell me everything they've found out so far..I know I'm gonna end up crying hearing about it but I need to know

Ah stink, of course you need to know. Hopefully you have someone with you tomorrow.

[Her_C4]

...as per everyone elses post Anika. We will all be thinking of you and with you in spirit.

If you get a chance, write down all your questions to make sure they all get answered. Sometimes, even though the questions are burning in our brain, we are overtaken with the emotion of the moment and may leave out an important one.

Take care

[Genestho]

...as per everyone elses post Anika. We will all be thinking of you and with you in spirit.

If you get a chance, write down all your questions to make sure they all get answered. Sometimes, even though the questions are burning in our brain, we are overtaken with the emotion of the moment and may leave out an important one.

Take care

+1!!
And ask them all, no question is too small. This is your chance to get all the answers you want.

[alexm]

thanks guys. My Mum is gonna be here with me, and my auntys taking Connor for a while.Yea I have so many questions, but some I know they aren't even gonna be able to answer, like why didn't he slow down coming up to the roundabout, or why did his helmet come off..Those are things only Alex knows and its so frustrating. Its killing me the fact his helmet did come off, cause if it had stayed on he would probably still be alive, or atleast have had a fighting chance..Probably would have been paralysed but it wouldn't have mattered to me. I can't understand why it came off, I know it fitted him properly and it was brand new, bought just a few weeks before. I hate thinking about the what-ifs

[GOONR]

thanks guys. My Mum is gonna be here with me, and my auntys taking Connor for a while.Yea I have so many questions, but some I know they aren't even gonna be able to answer, like why didn't he slow down coming up to the roundabout, or why did his helmet come off..Those are things only Alex knows and its so frustrating. Its killing me the fact his helmet did come off, cause if it had stayed on he would probably still be alive, or atleast have had a fighting chance..Probably would have been paralysed but it wouldn't have mattered to me. I can't understand why it came off, I know it fitted him properly and it was brand new, bought just a few weeks before. I hate thinking about the what-ifs

Ask the questions anyway, even if you don't think they will have an answer, you will never know if you don't ask.

I think that the idea of writing them down before hand is a good idea.

[Mrs Busa Pete]

You take care today Alex we will all be thinking of you and i guess some may even say a little prayer for you to get through the day..

Don't forget your dayly for yourself and Connor.

[caseye]

See told you, you were doing fine, got it all arranged even if it's not going to be a great day, at least you have got it all covered and are prepared.
Well done Anika, it might not sound like or feel like much but it says heaps for where you are at.
Nice to have you posting and letting us know whats a happening.
Bye for now.

[PrincessBandit]

thanks guys. My Mum is gonna be here with me, and my auntys taking Connor for a while.Yea I have so many questions, but some I know they aren't even gonna be able to answer, like why didn't he slow down coming up to the roundabout, or why did his helmet come off..Those are things only Alex knows and its so frustrating. Its killing me the fact his helmet did come off, cause if it had stayed on he would probably still be alive, or atleast have had a fighting chance..Probably would have been paralysed but it wouldn't have mattered to me. I can't understand why it came off, I know it fitted him properly and it was brand new, bought just a few weeks before. I hate thinking about the what-ifs

What-ifs are one of the most soul-destroying things you can hang on to Anika; I know it is easy to say, hard to do, but try not to torture yourself with those things. Some of them may be answered for you in time, others you may never know and you must not let them dominate you.

I hope that regardless of how hard and upsetting it will be to hear some of what you will be told, and the fact that it probably won't make you feel any better, take heart. You know that no matter what events actually took place, and no matter what lead up to them, Alex left for work that morning with his heart full of love for you and your son.

[Mrs Busa Pete]

Morning Anika hope yesterday answer some of your questions and you managed to get through the day.

But as PrincessBandit said You know that no matter what events actually took place, and no matter what lead up to them, Alex left for work that morning with his heart full of love for you and your son.

Take care Love

Wendy

[alexm]

Didn't find out anything new really, except for that when I was told after Alex went up on the roundabout and came off the bike, I always assumed that meant his legs were fully dangling off dragging along the ground..now I find out he was actually still with his legs over the bike but he was just off to one side and off balance. I guess it would still be really hard to regain control one your off-centre. The cop also said the best thing to do would have been to let go of the bike (which I wondered why he hadn't if he wasn't getting control of the bike again and heading towards the barrier) but he said most new riders just hold on. I don't know, maybe it happened so fast for Alex, but I just think if he saw himself heading towards the barrier why would he have held on? I dont get it. Oh and they also discovered a problem with his bike, we knew it had been overheating but apparently some fluid was leaking onto the front brakes or something, and the brake fluid in the front brakes was of really low quality therefore not doing much. Which is weird cause the bike had been re-VIN'd and new warrant just before we bought it, and Alex had also never mentioned problems with the brakes, and if there was something wrong with them he would have fixed it (he was an apprentice mechanic). But I dont think he would have been breaking in the accident anyway, so I don't think it mattered too much but now I'm wondering.

[Genestho]

Didn't find out anything new really, except for that when I was told after Alex went up on the roundabout and came off the bike, I always assumed that meant his legs were fully dangling off dragging along the ground..now I find out he was actually still with his legs over the bike but he was just off to one side and off balance. I guess it would still be really hard to regain control one your off-centre. The cop also said the best thing to do would have been to let go of the bike (which I wondered why he hadn't if he wasn't getting control of the bike again and heading towards the barrier) but he said most new riders just hold on. I don't know, maybe it happened so fast for Alex, but I just think if he saw himself heading towards the barrier why would he have held on? I dont get it. Oh and they also discovered a problem with his bike, we knew it had been overheating but apparently some fluid was leaking onto the front brakes or something, and the brake fluid in the front brakes was of really low quality therefore not doing much. Which is weird cause the bike had been re-VIN'd and new warrant just before we bought it, and Alex had also never mentioned problems with the brakes, and if there was something wrong with them he would have fixed it (he was an apprentice mechanic). But I dont think he would have been breaking in the accident anyway, so I don't think it mattered too much but now I'm wondering.

I'm sorry you have more questions.
What ifs are hard to get through.

Best advice at 6 months I received was: forget about what ifs, think about what is.
There are no answers - that make a difference to what is now.

[alexm]

yea too right TGW, I know wondering and hoping does no good now, but can't help it. Get bloody images of the crash in my head all day, and I was't even there. Hate to think of my sweet Alex being in pain for even a few seconds, or to think he may have been scared in those few seconds before it happened. I'm having such a bad night tonight, missing him more than ever, trying so hard not to cry because when I start I just get too many bad feelings. I just keep wondering why him, so young, such an amazing person, partner and father. Wish it had been me instead he bought so much joy to the world and was such an awesome person.

[Genestho]

yea too right TGW, I know wondering and hoping does no good now, but can't help it. Get bloody images of the crash in my head all day, and I was't even there. Hate to think of my sweet Alex being in pain for even a few seconds, or to think he may have been scared in those few seconds before it happened. I'm having such a bad night tonight, missing him more than ever, trying so hard not to cry because when I start I just get too many bad feelings. I just keep wondering why him, so young, such an amazing person, partner and father. Wish it had been me instead he bought so much joy to the world and was such an awesome person.

I know I know you can't help thinking what if.

I still think of what my man went through before he smashed into a drunks car. Let alone before he died.

I too felt much guilt I still lived. Guilt we that live, is so normal.
But here we are.

[boman]

What if. Why. If only. How come.

I also delt and deal with alot of guilt, with what happened. As T.G.W. says it is normal. The questions may never be answered or stop coming.

Like she said, we are here to listen and help if we can, in a way that tries to relate to what you are dealing with.

Survivor to survivor.

Darren

[Genestho]

And one for Darren