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Thread: Young death - Donations

  1. #406
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    25th January 2008 - 17:56
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    Damn, can't give the GOONR any more bling for a while. But mate you've managed to do something for Anika that is practical and kind, good on you mate and thanks from the rest of us out here who see it being done and think, one from the good guys/girls, for Anika.
    Anika, real, practical, support from your friends is the most awesome thing they can do for you and yours.I only wish it was possible for the rest of us to help out in some small practical way as well.
    Every day above ground is a good day!:

  2. #407
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    14th August 2009 - 19:05
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    You guys have already helped me out, with the donations and just the kind words of support. Goonr, thanks so much. It really means a lot to me. I would like to be able to go there every few days if I had the chance, I find it comforting in an odd way, and I like to see that his grave is still looking nice. But it's a long trip for me and hard with a baby in the car, plus it cost me $350 for that last trip :s And not to mention my cars done over 300,000kms already and I don't wanna push it.

  3. #408
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    8th November 2007 - 17:33
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    Hey Anika I am glad to see that you have benefited from all that has been offered you. I hope the finer weather gives you the chance to get out with Connor and enjoy the sunshine

  4. #409
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    30th November 2008 - 15:57
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    Hi Anika,

    I guess your probably feeling a bit low at the moment and that the start to the new year wasn't exactly happy. Just thought I'd let ya know that there are people thinking about you and your little fella.

    I'll let you know when I'm heading off down Alex's way. I was meant to be going down fairly soon but other things have come up so it might be a little while away but I will be in touch.

    Take care.
    Quote Originally Posted by SpankMe
    KB does not require a high standard of membership behavior.

  5. #410
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    25th January 2008 - 17:56
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    Hello Anika and little Connor, hope you are both disgustingly healthy and sun tanned.Just a line to say hello and let you know we are still about and thinking of you both.
    Every day above ground is a good day!:

  6. #411
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    8th November 2007 - 17:33
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    HI Anika, I have been thinking of you and wee Connor lately and hope you have been able to distract yourself in this fine weather with taking out in the fresh air.

  7. #412
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    14th August 2009 - 19:05
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    Hey guys,
    Couldn't get further away from a sun tan if I tried. Still have trouble leaving the house unless I really need to. I get panic attacks quite often if I do and it just doesn't feel right without Alex still. Each passing day seems to make it harder.. I don't cry much anymore, but inside I feel so much worse. Shocks worn off, and now I'm completely aware of the fact this is indeed real.. Just got back from Tauranga today, went there for Valentines.. Last night was one of the worst nights I've had in a while. Again disappointed to see the grave not being taken care of.. But on the plus side Connor is an amazingly health, clever little boy. Very happy, everyone loves him. I know Alex would be very proud of his little man.
    By the way, it means a lot to me some of you still check up on me. It seems the rest of the world assumes or thinks I'm basically over it. My mother doesn't understand at all and I'm finding it hard living with her. But it gives me a bit of strength knowing people who don't even know me are still looking out for me. thank you

  8. #413
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    25th January 2008 - 17:56
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    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by alexm View Post
    Hey guys,
    Couldn't get further away from a sun tan if I tried. Still have trouble leaving the house unless I really need to. I get panic attacks quite often if I do and it just doesn't feel right without Alex still. Each passing day seems to make it harder.. I don't cry much anymore, but inside I feel so much worse. Shocks worn off, and now I'm completely aware of the fact this is indeed real.. Just got back from Tauranga today, went there for Valentines.. Last night was one of the worst nights I've had in a while. Again disappointed to see the grave not being taken care of.. But on the plus side Connor is an amazingly health, clever little boy. Very happy, everyone loves him. I know Alex would be very proud of his little man.
    By the way, it means a lot to me some of you still check up on me. It seems the rest of the world assumes or thinks I'm basically over it. My mother doesn't understand at all and I'm finding it hard living with her. But it gives me a bit of strength knowing people who don't even know me are still looking out for me. thank you
    Checking up on/with you, Na! but letting you know we still care and are making sure you're getting through the days and nights, thats something we are doing because we want to, to help out you and Connor as best we can.
    Take care Anika and hey, please go for a walk, get out of the house, enjoy the simple things, the sun on your face and not having to do anything for a while.You can do it, go on.
    Catch you again soon.
    Every day above ground is a good day!:

  9. #414
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    27th April 2009 - 10:10
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    Im with Caseye & others thinking of you chick. Grief is a loooong road, and yeah sometimes it feels like the rest of the world is moving on but you are stuck, in actual fact ppl are most likely scared to open your wounds.
    Feel your feelings (thats what my councellor tells me) and be true to yourself in the moment that you are in. Have you considered seeing a grief councellor? I scoffed at the idea myself after my son died, didnt think it would do any good, not like it could bring him back huh? BUT I find it good to talk to someone that you dont have to put the "I'm ok" face on for, in some ways it helps (for me anyway)
    You are not alone Anika, there are alot of us out there that have to stuff the pain down every day - we just dont talk about it - I dont know why "stiff upper lip" maybe?
    Force yourself to chuck that wee boy of yours into the pram and go for a walk - he will enjoy the new sights and you will be feeding your body more than you know.
    Just get thru today..... thats all any of us can really do
    Buffstar
    xxooxx
    WESTIE CHICKS ROCK

  10. #415
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    18th August 2006 - 15:51
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    DearAnika

    You have more courage & strength than you know, & it sounds like you are doing an amazing job as wee Connors mummy, he is a lucky little boy!

    I wondered if you have been able to get some counselling/support from any organisations near your area?? I did a bit of a search & found a couple of sites that may be helpful for you, especially the Womens Centre. I spent a lot of time with the local centre here in my time of grief.. they were a Gods send!!

    http://www.womenandgrief.co.nz/

    http://howto.yellow.co.nz/life-relat...ng-with-grief/

    http://www.womyn-ctr.co.nz/services/

    Thinking of you both
    Jen xx
    GET ON
    SIT DOWN
    SHUT UP
    HANG ON

  11. #416
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    14th August 2009 - 19:05
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    Yea I finally went to the doctors and she put me on anti depressants and gave me the number for the Womens Centre. I've stopped taking my anti depressants now..weren't doing anything. Haven't called the Women's Centre yet.. I'd have no idea when I could go.. Would be a bit hard to talk with Connor there (he can be pretty loud..and crawling now). At the end of the day nothings gonna bring Alex back anyway and that's all I want. Just don't care for myself, only for Connor.

  12. #417
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    21st May 2007 - 22:52
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    Quote Originally Posted by alexm View Post
    Yea I finally went to the doctors and she put me on anti depressants and gave me the number for the Womens Centre. I've stopped taking my anti depressants now..weren't doing anything. Haven't called the Women's Centre yet.. I'd have no idea when I could go.. Would be a bit hard to talk with Connor there (he can be pretty loud..and crawling now). At the end of the day nothings gonna bring Alex back anyway and that's all I want. Just don't care for myself, only for Connor.
    Anti-depressants take a month to kick in, and most doc's will recommend you stay on them for a certain amount of time, ie 6 months, a year, anything less is not giving your brain a rest and the chance to repair the trauma (for want of better words) you may even need to up the dosage, which is nothing to be ashamed of considering the circumstance.

    And I bet you find you can bring Connor to the Womens centre! Call and find out, and don't forget you should be entitled to that free childcare too hun.

    You will care for yourself again, it'll come.
    It's good to see you admitting you care for that wee boy.
    ter·ra in·cog·ni·ta
    Achievement is not always success while reputed failure often is. It is honest endeavor, persistent effort to do the best possible under any and all circumstances.
    Orison Swett Marden

  13. #418
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    29th April 2007 - 08:01
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    Quote Originally Posted by caseye View Post
    Checking up on/with you, Na! but letting you know we still care and are making sure you're getting through the days and nights, thats something we are doing because we want to, to help out you and Connor as best we can.
    Take care Anika and hey, please go for a walk, get out of the house, enjoy the simple things, the sun on your face and not having to do anything for a while.You can do it, go on.
    Catch you again soon.
    That goes for me too mate



    "No matter what bike you ride. It's all the same wind in your face"

  14. #419
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    18th August 2006 - 15:51
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    Quote Originally Posted by alexm View Post
    Yea I finally went to the doctors and she put me on anti depressants and gave me the number for the Womens Centre. I've stopped taking my anti depressants now..weren't doing anything. Haven't called the Women's Centre yet.. I'd have no idea when I could go.. Would be a bit hard to talk with Connor there (he can be pretty loud..and crawling now). At the end of the day nothings gonna bring Alex back anyway and that's all I want. Just don't care for myself, only for Connor.
    The anti depressants will take 3-4 weeks to really get into your system, before you will notice the effects hun.. they serve a purpose, give them some time. Please do call the Womens Centre Anika.. they will do whatever they can to help, & may be able to put you onto someone closer to where you are even. I know it's hard, but you have to take care of yourself .. Connor needs you. Alex is always with you hun, as are we. There are a lot of people out here walking with you, sending you love & thoughts.. take our strength & be brave Anika. Life can be so cruel sometimes.. it makes you wonder how some people can believe in a God that lets things like this happen.. but have faith in the universe hun.. each day is a new day & miracles do happen, believe me!! Out of the darkness comes light.. you will never forget, but time does heal. Be strong, Anika.. you are stronger than you think you are sweetheart.

    Jen xx
    GET ON
    SIT DOWN
    SHUT UP
    HANG ON

  15. #420
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    8th November 2007 - 17:33
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    Yup caseye is right, we do care and want you to know that you are not out there alone.
    So glad to hear Connor is a healthy lively wee boy that you love dearly.

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