Darien Rush Security, get over yourselves

[Coldrider]

You know how one always does this blip on the old scoot when you start her up in the carpark?
Start her up, give a couple blips to calm the spluttering and BAM, right in my face - some faggot in army fatigues, high laced boots and a walkie talkie.

'Hey son, I'm gonna have to ask you to keep the revs down mate, we don't want accidents.'

"It's revs, BRO. I'm stationary. I understand where you're coming from, but go police something that matters."

'Hey look, don't get smart, or I'll report you to the police.'
RUNNNNDUNDUNDUDUN and off in a blaze of noise.

THE NEXT DAY

Tries to block my entrance to the mall and writes down my numberplate lol, then tells me I can't park where I do anymore.

Tell him to get fucked till he serves a tresspass order on you.
He has to ask you leave the property before he can do this, then who is agent, property owner or security guard?

[wbks]

Sound like a bunch of wankers... Which carparks are the ones with the nazi rentacops telling you guys to 'keep the revs down'? KB burnout comp?

[Skyryder]

A good fist in the nuts turns the toughest dick into pudding and the custard is a good hard 'slap' onto the side of the jaw as they buckle, with the lower part of the palm, get it right and you can 'clap' both hands over both jaws at the same time.

Mind you at my age a twist of the throttle is both faster and safer.

Skyryder

[Dave Lobster]

Mind you at my age a zimmer frame is both faster and safer.

I sometimes wonder if I'm the only one laughing

[Coldrider]

Tell him to get fucked till he serves a tresspass order on you.
He has to ask you leave the property before he can do this, then who is agent, property owner or security guard?

On second thoughts, if you want to park there, you'll just have to tell him how much he reminds you of 'arnie'

[Pedrostt500]

My thoughts on the Car Park nazis, is to organise a KB event where we park a bike legaly in each car park for maximum duration, they can't do Fuck about it,

[Indiana_Jones]

tell him to fuck him self

What he said

Tell the cunt to fuck off.

We had a security person ask my mate for his drivers licence one time he drove past the flicks on a sat night, he handed it over, but if it were me I'd tell him to fuck himself.

-Indy

[wbks]

My thoughts on the Car Park nazis, is to organise a KB event where we park a bike legaly in each car park for maximum duration, they can't do Fuck about it,

Pretty uneventful week planned, huh?

[ynot slow]

Ask him "are you a test tube baby" when he replies"no,why" you reply "because your like your dad if you were,he was a wanker too".

[forlife]

Darien Rush are wankers, no doubt about it. Ive had a run in with these clowns myself.

They were also on tv3 threatening to "take your head off" to a cameraman. And then were also on 60 minutes with the owner having ripped people off.

Theyre walking around like that because theyre failures and have huge insecurity comlexes, failed cop exams for sure

[slofox]

They were all bullied at school - poor little woozims...

[munster]

I've heard they're in the financial shit and it's only the RWC contracts that's keeping their heads above water right now.

[tigertim20]

look you guys have gona about this all wrong. heres how you fuck with over zealous security guards.

get a T shirt printed with 'security' written on it, and nothing else.
Get a wheel clamp.

Wait untill they park their big gay vehicle, and get out of it, the go put the clamp on their vehicle.
stand there with a notebook and a pen, and when you se them coming back, pretend you are writing their number plate down.

the conversation will go something like this

them: what the fuck are you doing?

you: Im afraid you arent entitled to park here, and we have received complaints

them: what? take that fuckingthing off our car, WE are the security around here

you: (raise your eyebrows and conjure a distinctly patronizing tone) Son, calm down, youre in enough trouble as it is.

them: who the fuck are you, and what the hell are you doing. who do you work for?

you: Sorry, Im not able to divulge that information

Them: take that thing off our fucking car cunt

You: sorry sir, Im unable to do that

Them: the fuck is going on here?

You: Just doing my job fellas.

Them: get this off our car, who the hell are you, what the fuck is going on

You: Look, abviously youve an issue, if youll kindly wait here a few minutes I will go and get my boss

Then you simply walk away and dont come back

[DrunkenMistake]

look you guys have gona about this all wrong. heres how you fuck with over zealous security guards.

get a T shirt printed with 'security' written on it, and nothing else.
Get a wheel clamp.

Wait untill they park their big gay vehicle, and get out of it, the go put the clamp on their vehicle.
stand there with a notebook and a pen, and when you se them coming back, pretend you are writing their number plate down.

the conversation will go something like this

them: what the fuck are you doing?

you: Im afraid you arent entitled to park here, and we have received complaints

them: what? take that fuckingthing off our car, WE are the security around here

you: (raise your eyebrows and conjure a distinctly patronizing tone) Son, calm down, youre in enough trouble as it is.

them: who the fuck are you, and what the hell are you doing. who do you work for?

you: Sorry, Im not able to divulge that information

Them: take that thing off our fucking car cunt

You: sorry sir, Im unable to do that

Them: the fuck is going on here?

You: Just doing my job fellas.

Them: get this off our car, who the hell are you, what the fuck is going on

You: Look, abviously youve an issue, if youll kindly wait here a few minutes I will go and get my boss

Then you simply walk away and dont come back

Like a Boss.

[flyingcrocodile46]

In similar situations when dealing with image conscious fuckwits like that I take satisfaction in tilting my head sideways with a frown (as if mildly annoyed by their stupidity) then shake my head, turn and walk away whilst completely ignoring anything they say.

I reckon there is no greater insult to someone who is full of themselves, than to send the message to them that they don't even rate acknowledgement.