I smell sausages!!Originally Posted by bogan
Dickens Cider
I smell sausages!!
No body move... I dropped my brain
NEDWN VIII
Text conversation between a dog and his owner...
Dog: Someone broke into the house
Owner: Fuck are you ok? Im coming home.
Dog: No need, they didn't take anything, they just did a poo on your bed that looks like mine.
Hardcore Biker
An Intermediate school health class was learning about pregnancy. Young Suzy asks her teacher, "Can my grandma get pregnant?" Her teacher replies that no, she can't, shes far too old. Suzy then asks if her fifty year old mother could get pregnant. Her teacher tells her no, shes a little too old for that. Suzy, puzzled, asks if she can get pregnant. Her teacher freaks out and tells her "Don't even think about it young lady, you're far too young!" Johnny pipes up from the back of class "See, I told you we had nothing to worry about!"
Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
Dickens Cider
BREAKING NEWS. Disney buys Star Wars.
New film is to be called "When You Wish Upon A Death Star".
No body move... I dropped my brain
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
"Go and have a look at the size of the shit I've just done in the bathroom!" I said to my wife.
"No thanks," she replied.
"Please, just one quick look," I said, "You won't believe it."
She pinched her nose, ran in, looked down the toilet, then ran out and said, "There's nothing down there, you must've flushed it."
I said, "It's on the scales!"
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
Our family surname is "Daniels". So rather hilariously we named our first child Jack.
She hates it.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Weekend cruiser
New Aussie Pickup Line
A bloke was standing at a bar and a beautiful woman was beside him so he leans over and says
"You remind me of my little toe."
She replies, "What?... You mean I'm small and cute?"
He says "No. I'll probably bang you on the coffee table later when I'm drunk."
Has left the building
What is Bruce lee's favorite beverage????
Waaatah!!!!
The instructions are simple...
The Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is actually proud of the fact it is distributing the greatest amount of free meals and food stamps ever.
Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the US Department of the Interior, asks us to "Please Do Not Feed the Animals". Their stated reason for the policy is because the animals will grow dependent on handouts and will not learn to take care of themselves.
This ends today's lesson.
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Anarchic Wild Child
I see unemployment has risen again ..
"So if you meet me, have some sympathy, have some courtesy, have some taste ..."
"channellling the Pleideans"
Hey so the Jehovahs Witlesses put out videos for deaf people saying don't masturbate: its bad yo!
Nek Minnit: 50 cent.
http://kottke.org/12/11/jehovahs-wit...ion-in-da-club
I thought elections were decided by angry posts on social media. - F5 Dave
mad thou rider
I have just created a new cocktail, and I'm calling it the "Sandy"
I'ts basically just a watered down Manhattan
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
Disney has revealed some details about the main villain in the next series of Star Wars films.
A brave, yet unemotional character, he is fiercley loyal to those who want the same as him.
He's called Darth Lightyear.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
My wife asked me what I wanted for Christmas today.
"How about a blow-job?" I said.
"Well, you'll have to wait and see what you get from Father Christmas," she replied.
Great. If I'd wanted a fat lump with a white beard to suck my cock, I'd have asked her mother.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Having a Zen moment...
If a tree falls in a forest, and no-one is around to hear it... have we just found the perfect place for a Nickleback concert?
Redefining slow since 2006...
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