I didn't get it by the way!
Rasta Ratskins
I didn't get it by the way!
Only a Rat can win a Rat Race!
The instructions are simple...
You funny man - made me laugh...Originally Posted by Laava
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
"trolling"
''What do you call a retractable maori''?
''I don't know, what do you call a retractable maori''?
''Bungy Walters''he ain't been around for a while
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. (John 15:13)
Highway Biker
This is one of them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3jy5sEH0PU
And this one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfCT1vIqjlM
Forum whore
A woman as just about to drive away from a riverside car park when a Fish and Game warden approached.
He noticed fish in a tub in the back of her ute and asked to see her fishing licence.
She said she didn’t need one because the fish were pets and she’d just been taking them for a swim.
The warden looked at her and said, “you’re joking.”
“No,” she said, “I’m not and I”ll prove it. I’ll take the fish down to the river, let them go and call them back.”
The warden looked sceptical but was prepared to give her the benefit of the doubt.”
The woman picked up the tub, took it down to the river and tipped it upside down.
The warden waited a few minutes then said, “When are you going to call the fish back.”
She turned to him with a puzzled look and said, “What fish?”
"Statistics are used as a drunk uses lampposts - for support, not illumination."
Forum whore
Apparently Westfield's are having a ten million dollar bed sale. I mean, get real, who's going to pay ten million dollars for a bed ???
You don't get to be an old dog without learning a few tricks.
Shorai Powersports batteries are very trick!
Hardcore Biker
Westfield owner Frank Lowy was joint holder of the lease of the WTC with Larry Silversteen.
With his fortunes maybe he should change his name to Goldsteen. He could afford a $10m bed.
He apparently made a $5bn dollar bed he has to lie in.
Atheism and Religion are but two sides of the same coin.
One prefers to use its head, while the other relies on tales.
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
A fetish porn studio has invented a new genre, aimed specifically at Muslims.
It's called Burkake.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Anarchic Wild Child
A teacher reminds class about the lesson yesterday about animals adn their names. She asks the class to name things that end with 'tor' that eat things.
The Peter jumps up and says, "Alligator."
"Very good Peter," says the teacher, "that's a big word."
Then Suzie jumps up and says, "Predator."
"Yes, that's another big word, says teacher. "Well done."
Then little Johnny leaps to his feet and says, "Vibrator."
After nearly falling off her chair, the teacher says, "That is a big word, Johnny, but I don't think it eats anything."
"Well miss," says Johnny, "my sister has a vibrator and she says it eats batteries like there's no tomorrow!"
"So if you meet me, have some sympathy, have some courtesy, have some taste ..."
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
I bumped into my ex in town earlier, I said:
"How's your new bloke?"
"He's twice the man you are," she sneered, "what about your new woman?"
I said, "Thankfully she's half the woman you are, you fat cunt."
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
BogOff-Cant you see I'm busy?
Towards the end of a round of golf, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups.
Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden: POOF!!
In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, 'I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?!?! Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life. Better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life. As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!!' Then POOF! ... She was gone!
After Dave recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, 'Fred, where are you?'
Fred yells back, 'I'm over here in the pussy-willows.'
Dave shouts back, 'DON'T SWING, Fred! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING!!!
The instructions are simple...
A Muslim has been shot in the head with a starting pistol. Police say it's definitely race related...
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Dickens Cider
After winning his battle against cancer of the throat, Michael Douglas has revealed that it was caused by performing oral sex.
A case of licking the big 'C' in both cases.
No body move... I dropped my brain
Anorak
At the time of diagnosis Micheal was rather shocked to find it was cancer. He had just thought he was coming down with something
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
Some visual funnies.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
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