The intro is a bit long... skip to 1:48. Funny song, and damn... that guy's facial movements
Forum whore
The intro is a bit long... skip to 1:48. Funny song, and damn... that guy's facial movements
“There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there? ”-Clerks
Anorak
10101010000011111000100001000010001001010101010101 010100000010001
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken
"channellling the Pleideans"
aw yup.
ten characters
I thought elections were decided by angry posts on social media. - F5 Dave
Anorak
999999999999999990000000000000000
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken
'tart tourmenter
A man was driving down a motorway with his blonde girlfriend and she piped up,
"I think those people in the car next to us are from another country"
"What makes you think that?" he said.
"Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says
"stit ruoy su wohs"
Suck, Squeeze, Bang, Blow aren’t just the 4 cycles of an engine
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
"What's the problem?" the doctor asked.
I replied, "When I urinate, it smells of anything that I've eaten or drunk. For instance, if I eat Cocoa Pops it smells of Cocoa Pops or if I drink a chicken Cup-a-Soup, it smells of a chicken Cup-a-Soup.
What can I do to make my piss smell like piss, doctor?"
He replied "Have you tried drinking DB Draught?"
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Scooter boy
I noticed a typo so I fixed it for yaOriginally Posted by Swoop
"What's the problem?" the doctor asked.
I replied, "When I urinate, it smells of anything that I've eaten or drunk. For instance, if I eat Cocoa Pops it smells of Cocoa Pops or if I drink a chicken Cup-a-Soup, it smells of a chicken Cup-a-Soup.
What can I do to make my piss smell like piss, doctor?"
He replied "Have you tried drinking Tui or Speights?"
Argo Solvo Interio Putus
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
Nope. Correct first time.
Time to head back under your bridge.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Hardcore Biker
Surprise Sex...
Forum whore
Guess what the rules are?
“There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there? ”-Clerks
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
A man received the following text from his neighbour:
I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.
The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.
A few moments later, a second text came in:
Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Forum whore
“There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there? ”-Clerks
Sir Cumference
They're done it again...
http://hitthewoodline.com/satura/201...ders-to-russia
Can I believe the magic of your size... (The Shirelles)
Hardcore Biker
Something to offend everyone
Teacher asks Billy; "If you have five sweets and Mohammed asks for one, how
many will you have left?"
Billy; "Five"
Bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of anything except Stella...
Barman asks, "What's wrong with Stella?"
Bloke says, "I had 12 pints of Stella last night and when I came round I was
f**king skint."
Barman says, "12 pints of anything costs about the same."
Bloke replies, "Skint's my dog."
Wife says to husband "You only ever want sex when you're drunk"
Husband says " that's not true....... sometimes I want a kebab"
My son asked me today what's the difference between a crow and a blackbird.
I told him crows have somewhat heavier beaks and fan shaped tails.
A blackbird has big rubbery lips, fuzzy hair and a massive arse.
After the tsunami a Geordie and a Yank aid worker are helping out in Japan
on the damaged nuclear plant.
Yank says, "You from round here, buddy?"
"No," he replies, " Newcastle "
"What State's that in?" asks the Yank.
"Pretty much the same as this place!"
Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on marriage and a long
relationship...
She replied "Wear a seatbelt and don't piss me off."
A man approaches a young good looking woman in a shop. he says" I can't find
my wife, can I talk to you for a few minutes?"
The woman says "Sure but do you have any idea where your wife is?"
"Not a clue" he says" But whenever I talk to a beautiful woman with tits
like yours she appears out of nowhere!"
Following the recent Earthquake the Chinese government have thanked Britain
for the rescue dogs they sent out. They said they were delicious!
Zombies Are Just Misunderstood
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