I hate when people say they're adrenaline junkies. You're adrenaline addicts.
Until you start sucking dick to fund your next skydiving trip you're not a junkie.
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
I hate when people say they're adrenaline junkies. You're adrenaline addicts.
Until you start sucking dick to fund your next skydiving trip you're not a junkie.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Meow
A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift.
The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The KEY," where a small key is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift.
Of course, the woman wanted "The Key."
Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the key, and the effects were wonderful --the woman remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems.
"All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the key and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems:
First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the key won't get rid of them."
The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts."
She said, "No point asking about the beard then..."
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Enigma
You'd never go hungry with Nigella Gaz.
If it weren't for flashbacks...I'd have no memory at all..
Bogeyman
Originally Posted by roogazza
Thank you, I had forgotten that.
Along with many other early Japanese owners manual "translations".
Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon
KB's Chief Cats
#4 one for cassina...
Hardcore Biker
I came home this evening to find my wife reading a dictionary.
She's up to something...
Hardcore Biker
More instructions:
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
The "Bishop" came to our church today. He was a fucking impostor! Never once moved diagonally!
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Meow
4/20 Day...National Marijuana Day
4/21 Day... National Surprise Drug Test Day
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
It doesn't matter what party you belong to - this is good natured political humor from a show on Canadian TV, where a black comedian said he misses Bill Clinton.
"Yep, that's right - I miss Bill Clinton!"
He was the closest thing we ever got to having a real black man as President.
*He played the sax.
*He smoked weed.
*He had his way with ugly white women.
*Even now? Look at him ... his wife works, and he doesn't! And, he gets a check from the government every month.
*Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America 's shelves this week with " Clinton Soup," in honor of one of the nations' distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.
*Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada.
*When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, "I don't know, I never had one."
*The Clinton revised judicial oath: "I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know."
*Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do Hanky Panky between the Bushes.
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender.
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Meow
Gianni Poggio, an elderly Italian man who lives on the outskirts of Positano, Italy, recently went to the local church for confession.
When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: "Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic."
The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that."
"There is more to tell, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays."
The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."
"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question though ..."
"And what is that?" asked the priest.
"Should I tell her the war is over?''
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Hardcore Biker
A real warning sign:
Bevelhead Dinosaur
ten chars...
=mjc=
.
KB's Chief Cats
i understand not the problem.
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks