English is weird.
It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
English is weird.
It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Hardcore Biker
We've been looking at houses with a little land, so this is appropriate.
Enigma
You'd never go hungry with Nigella Gaz.
If it weren't for flashbacks...I'd have no memory at all..
Hardcore Biker
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
Woman lost in New Zealand wilderness survives by drinking own breast milk.
Your turn Bear Grylls.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Dickens Cider
Originally Posted by Swoop
No body move... I dropped my brain
Rasta Ratskins
On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife.
The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure
for erectile dysfunction. The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.
The old Indian gave him a potion and, with a grip on his shoulder, warned ‘This is a powerful medicine.
You take only a teaspoonful, and then say: ‘1-2-3.'
When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life,
and you can perform for as long as you want."
The man thanked the old Indian, and as he walked away, he turned and asked: “How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine,
and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said: "1-2-3!"
Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and asked: "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
Only a Rat can win a Rat Race!
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
If Muslims hate gays so much then why do they practice shoving their foreheads into a carpet while pushing their arses into the air five times a day?
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
God's Evil Twin
Science Is But An Organized System Of Ignorance"Pornography: The thing with billions of views that nobody watches" - WhiteManBehindADesk
They call me Mr Fahrenheit
Because they don't like tea?
Keep on chooglin'
Enigma
You'd never go hungry with Nigella Gaz.
If it weren't for flashbacks...I'd have no memory at all..
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
Considering Batman and Iron Man's only real superpowers were to be rich and smart, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs turned out to be pretty fucking disappointing!
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Meow
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest with a bat up his ass while he is on fire.
No further studies are expected on this subject.
What's the point in living if you don't feel alive?
Toying with ones mortality shouldn't be this much fun.
Anorak
Husband: "Want a quickie?"
Wife: "As opposed to what?"
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken
BogOff-Cant you see I'm busy?
After returning from his honeymoon with his bride Virgina, Luigi stopped by his old
barbershop in Jersey to say hello to his friends.
Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wasa da treep down to Florida?"
Luigi, "Everyting wasa perfecto except for da train ride down."
"Whata you mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni.
"Well, we boarda da train at Grana Central Station. My beautiful Virginia , she packa
big basket a food. ...She brought da vino, some nice cigars for me, and we were
lookina forward to da trip, and open
upa da l uncha basket. The conductore come
aby, waga his finger at us anda say, 'No eat indisa car.Musta use a dining car..'
So, me and my beautiful Virginia, we go to da dining car, eat a biga lunch and starta
at open da bottle of a nice a vino!
Conductore walka by again, waga his finger and say, 'No drinka in disa car!
Musta use a cluba car.' So, we go to cluba car.
While a drinkina da vino, I starta to lighta my biga cigar. The conductore, he waga
'is finger again and say, 'No a smokina disa car. Musta go to a smokina car ..'
So we go to a smokina car and I smoke a my biga cigar.
Then my beautiful Virginia and I, we go to our sleeper car anda go to bed. We just
about to go boombada boombada .... and the conductore, he walka through da hallway
shouting at a top of his a voice..
'Nofolk Virginia ! Nofolk Virginia!'
"Nexta time, I'ma just gonna taka da bus...."
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