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Thread: Friday jokes

  1. #3856
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    13th April 2003 - 06:21
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    "It Was Said"...Mark Twain and Others

    If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed,
    if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
    .....Mark Twain

    I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket
    and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
    .....Winston Churchill

    A government which robs Peter to pay Paul
    can always depend on the support of Paul.
    .....George Bernard Shaw

    Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries
    to rich people in poor countries.
    .....Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University

    Giving money and power to government
    is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
    .....P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

    Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavours to live
    at the expense of everybody else.
    .....Frederic Bastiat, French economist

    If you think health care is expensive now,
    wait until you see what it costs when it's free!
    .....P.J. O'Rourke

    Just because you do not take an interest in politics
    doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!
    .....Pericles (430 B.C.)

    Talk is cheap...except when government does it.
    .....Anonymous

    The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist
    is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
    .....Mark Twain

    A government big enough to give you everything you want
    is strong enough to take everything you have.
    .....Thomas Jefferson

  2. #3857
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    Maybe it's the cider talking, but I have come to a decision.

    It's time to quit working at the tiddlywink factory.

    It's counter-productive.

  3. #3858
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    "iF I Had a HI-Fi" is the new single by The Palindromes.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  4. #3859
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    How do you know if you have a high sperm count?

    When your wife has to chew before she swallows.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  5. #3860
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    Education.....
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

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  6. #3861
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swoop View Post
    How do you know if you have a high sperm count?

    When your wife has to chew before she swallows.
    hahahahahahaha.

    Wimmen dont give blowies after theyre married!

  7. #3862
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  8. #3863
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    Quote Originally Posted by Akzle View Post
    Wimmen dont give blowies after theyre married!
    'course they do... just not to their husbands.
    I didn't think!!! I experimented!!!

  9. #3864
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bald Eagle View Post
    You married the wrong one then
    hahahahahahaha. Akzle. Married.

    Funny guy.

  10. #3865
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    Interspecies marriage bill hasn't been passed yet.


    Stupid phone / Tapatalk, apologies in advance.

  11. #3866
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    12th September 2004 - 17:40
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    A guy walked into a crowded bar
    waving his semi-automatic pistol, and yelled,
    "I have a M1911.45 Colt with
    an eight-shot magazine, and I want to know
    who's been screwing my wife!"

    A voice from the back of the room called out...
    "You'll need more ammo!

    You'd never go hungry with Nigella Gaz.
    If it weren't for flashbacks...I'd have no memory at all..

  12. #3867
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    Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a murder in Gore:

    1. All the DNA is the same.

    2. There are no dental records.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  13. #3868
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    Quote Originally Posted by Akzle View Post
    hahahahahahaha. Akzle. Married.

    Funny guy.
    Mrs Hand and her 4 little helpers

  14. #3869
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    You'd never go hungry with Nigella Gaz.
    If it weren't for flashbacks...I'd have no memory at all..

  15. #3870
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    A picture of a British police officer helping an elderly man with his shopping has gone viral.

    Americans are wondering at which point did the officer shoot and kill the old bastard.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

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