Paris Hilton has been denied entry to Japan.
I think it's unfair. No one has ever been denied entry to Paris.
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
Paris Hilton has been denied entry to Japan.
I think it's unfair. No one has ever been denied entry to Paris.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of Guinness.
After a while, he finds himself in a very high class neighborhood - big, stately residences, no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all ...NO PUBLIC TOILETS!
He really, really had to go, after all those Guinnesses. He finally finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.
As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London Bobby, who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."
"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public toilet."
"Ah, yes," said the Bobbie . "Just follow me". He leads him to a back "delivery alley", then along a wall to a gate, which he opens. "In there," points the Bobbie. "Whiz away, sir, anywhere you want."
The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom. Since he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly relieved.
As he goes back through the gate, he says to the Bobby, "That was really decent of you ... is that what you call "British hospitality?"
"No sir," the Bobby replied. "It's what we call 'The French Embassy'."
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Forum whore
OK one for the music download thieves among us.
Royal Enfield user
Originally Posted by doc
yes to that question ,,,a big yes,,,, ( the question in the picture)
Stephen
"Look, Madame, where we live, look how we live ... look at the life we have...The Republic has forgotten us."
Hardcore Biker
I'd buy her a house.
Atheism and Religion are but two sides of the same coin.
One prefers to use its head, while the other relies on tales.
Has left the building
4 things to remember when entering a marae: 1. Shoes off 2. Socks off 3. Sawn off 4. Safety off
Anarchic Wild Child
Quote for the day
god created the orgasm so that women can moan, even when they are happy.
"So if you meet me, have some sympathy, have some courtesy, have some taste ..."
Anarchic Wild Child
A traffic police officer stops two nuns on a motorcycle for riding too slowly.
He approaches the rider and says: "M'am, the speed limit on this road is 60 miles an hour and yet you are riding at 21 miles an hour. You'll have to speed up, as you're slow speed is causing traffic to build up."
"I'm sorry officer," the nun says. "I saw a sign back there that said 21 and I thought that was the speed limit."
"M'am that sign says 21 because it is Highway 21. The speed limt is 60 miles an hour," the officer says.
Then the police officer notices the nun on the pillion seat is white and shaking and looking very ill.
"M'am," he asks the rider, "What's wrong with your pillion?"
"Oh," replies the nun. "She's fine,. She probably doesn't look good because we just got of Highway 205."
"So if you meet me, have some sympathy, have some courtesy, have some taste ..."
The instructions are simple...
A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his 4-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole event.
The man thought, “Great… he’s 4 and I’m gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees. No need to jump the gun, I’ll just let him ask and I’ll answer.”
After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said: “Well, son, do you have any questions?”
“Just one,” gasped the still wide-eyed lad:
“How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?”
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Missing my buddy Morepower
A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes..
The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions.."
He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks,"What's your occupation?"
"I'm a prostitute," she says.
The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, " Let's try to rephrase that."
The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl".
"No, that still won't work. Try again."
They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer."
The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?"
"Well, I raised a thousand little cocks last year."
"Chicken Farmer it is."
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
The best engine ever designed is a vagina; it takes any size piston, self-lubricates, can start itself with one finger and does its own oil change once every 28 days.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Anarchic Wild Child
There was a family gathering, with all generations around the table.
Onme of the mischievous teenagers put a Viagra tablet into Grandpa's drink, and after a while, Grandpa excused himself because he had to go to the bathroom.
When he returned, however, his trousers are wet all over.
'What happened, Grandpa?' he was asked by his concerned children.
'Well,' he answered, 'I don't really know. I had to go to the bathroom. So I took it out and started to pee, but then I saw that it wasn't mine, so I put it back!'
"So if you meet me, have some sympathy, have some courtesy, have some taste ..."
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
"I've really had it with my dog, he'll chase anyone on a bike."
"What are you going to do, have him put down?"
"No, I think I'll just take his bike away".
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Missing my buddy Morepower
'Viagra' is now available
In powder form
For your tea.
It doesn't enhance your sexual performance
But it does stop your biscuit going soft!
Has left the building
Guy says 2 a chick in the pub "I'd give you one!"
She say's, "you filthy pig I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last man on earth!"
He says "Whoa, steady on ya fat cunt, I was giving ya a rating out a 10!
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