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Thread: Friday jokes

  1. #4846
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    1st November 2005 - 08:18
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    As a Dentist, I only get paid for each prosthetic implant I complete.
    Nothing Dentured, nothing gained.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  2. #4847
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    The new horrendous ’challenge’ these idiotic millennials are doing is ’food licking’.

    Opening containers of ice cream or other food products, in a shop, and licking them, then putting it back again.

    I have a new challenge for them...

    How about these arseholes try the raw chicken challenge?
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  3. #4848
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    On the subject of genders, most of us have two sets of chromosomes xx if you're female xy if you are male .
    However there are other variations.

    There is Xyy syndrome and Klinefelter syndrome xxy, Trisomy or triple x syndrome, and even a case in australia of Tetrasomy where the child had 4 female chromosomes, they named her Castlemaine.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  4. #4849
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    17th June 2010 - 16:44
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    A duck is standing beside the road waiting for a break in the traffic ..

    A chicken comes up and says "Don't bother - you'll never hear the end of it."
    "So if you meet me, have some sympathy, have some courtesy, have some taste ..."

  5. #4850
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    17th August 2005 - 11:00
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    10 Chars

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    On a Motorcycle you're penetrating distance, right along with the machine!! In a car you're just a spectator, the windshields like a TV!!

    'Life's Journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out! Shouting, ' Holy sh!t... What a Ride!! '

  6. #4851
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    25th January 2008 - 17:56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reckless View Post
    10 Chars

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    Riskster! hey ya baby!
    Every day above ground is a good day!:

  7. #4852
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    NASA have sent their congratulations to the Indian space agency, who are sending a payload to the lunar surface.
    A spokesman for the Indian space agency said the module called "costcutter" will be a complete unit including, overpriced tinned goods, magazine stand, beer fridge and lottery terminal.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  8. #4853
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    12th September 2004 - 17:40
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    You'd never go hungry with Nigella Gaz.
    If it weren't for flashbacks...I'd have no memory at all..

  9. #4854
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    "In my defence officer, the man I crashed into was clearly distracted. He was smoking a cigarette, whilst using his mobile phone. When I got out of the car, he was overly abusive and I swear that there was a very strong smell of alcohol on his breath. I want him charged!"


    "Madam, for your information none of those things are illegal, when being done in one's own home. I'm going to need you to accompany me to the Police station."
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  10. #4855
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    I've put my Rottweiler on a vegan diet - and he fucking loves it!

    So far, I've fed him three of the cunts.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  11. #4856
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    I read that apparently 1 in 10 young Germans believe Auschwitz is a type of beer.

    I tried it once. It wasn't for me. Too gassy...
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  12. #4857
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    Went to Countdown supermarket earlier, there was a sign on the door, ‘No food or drink allowed inside’... so I went home.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  13. #4858
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    I love women who want equality.

    I especially like the look on their faces when you tell them you're not paying, after you've drunk champagne and eaten the most expensive meal on the menu.






    I was chatting to a pretty blonde in the pub, "Would you sleep with me if I offered you two million pounds?"

    She thought for a moment and said, "Yes, I suppose I would."

    "How about for twenty quid?" I asked

    "What kind of woman do you think I am?" she snarled.

    "We've already established that," I replied, "now we're just haggling over the price."
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  14. #4859
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    Modern sex education... Even better if you recall his role in Narcos.

    https://www.dropbox.com/s/t9y55k3875...0Talk.mov?dl=0
    The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight underpants.

  15. #4860
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    Why do Hong Kong police like to show up to work early?

    To beat the crowds.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

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