______________
AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET
12659-CASE OF THE
PREGNANT LADY?
A lady about 8 months
pregnant got on a bus.She
noticed the man opposite
her was smiling at her.
She immediately moved to
another seat.
This time the smile turned
into a grin,so she moved
again.
The man seemed more
amused.
When on the fourth move,
the man burst out laughing;
She complained to the
driver,and he had the man
arrested.
The case came up in court.
The judge asked the man
( about 20 years old ) what
he had to say for himself.
The man replied.
"Well your Honour,it was
like this: When the lady
got on the bus,I couldn't
help but notice her
condition.
She sat under a sweets
sign that said,"The
Double Mint Twins are
Coming;and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat
under a sign that said;
"Logan's Liniment will
reduce the swelling;and
I had to smile.
Then she placed herself
under a deodorabt sign
that said;"Wiliam's Big
Stick Did the Trick; and I
could hardly contain
myself.
BUT,your Honour,when
she moved the fourth time
and sat under a sign that
said,"Goodyear Rubber
could have prevented this
Accident",I just lost it."
Well done that man, brilliant Post Bikkie.
Every day above ground is a good day!:
I asked the assistant at Whitcoulls, when the book about Cindy managing the pandemic would be available,
"I haven't got a clue" she replied,
"Yeah, that's the one!" I answered.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Little Johnny is walking out of the church with his mum, after Grandad's funeral.
He looks at his Mum and says, "Y'know Mum, I'll never forget Grandad's last words to me. I'll remember them forever."
His Mum looks at him fondly and asks "So what did he say to you then?"
"He said..he said..."Stop shaking the ladder you fucking little cunt!""
In the junior school classroom the teacher is talking to the kids about Covid 19. She says "It's a very contagious disease so you have to be really careful!" The kids look puzzled and one of them asks "What's contagious Miss?"
Teacher thinks briefly and says "OK kids does anyone know the answer to that?" Total silence and shaking heads so Teacher says "OK that's your homework for tonight. Find out what contagious means, OK?"
Next day she asks the kids if anyone found the answer. Little Johnny's hand shoots up so she asks him what the answer is. Little Johnny says "Contagious are people who come to finish a job you start but can't finish!"
Teacher looks puzzled..."Where did you get that answer from Johnny?"
Says Johnny "My dad said it last night." Teacher asks "So exactly what did Dad say?" Bright spark replies. "Well Miss, Mum came home last night and said to Dad "Guess what? Your brother is going to paint his house! He's gunna do it himself!" Then Dad said, "Ho, I bet it takes the contagious to finish it!""
. “No pleasure is worth giving up for two more years in a rest home.” Kingsley Amis
Recently someone nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, breaking in, evading security, getting out, and escaping with the goods, he was captured only 5 miles away when his van ran out of petrol.
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such a foolish error running out of fuel, he replied,
"I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
_____________________
I had a really great day today, painting the fascia boards on the veranda with my step ladder.
I don't get on with my real ladder.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
In this day and age of the snowflake dickhead, why isn't The Isle of Man called "The Isle of Person"?
I thought global warming was killing off snowflakes, but it’s actually making them worse!!!
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Nancy Pelosi says the Senate will impose article 29 and remove Donald Trump because his covid medication is affecting his mental faculties.
The USA couldn't be summed up more succinctly: It gets a President who hasn't started any wars and they have him sectioned.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
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