Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
I walked into the pub toilet last night, spotted a bloke at the urinals, and made my way to the cubicle.
The bloke laughed and said, "embarrassed about your penis, hey, lad?"
A bit embarrassed, I said; "Of course not!" And made my way over to the urinal next to him.
What a hypocrite, he sure seemed embarrassed watching me take a shit.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
An elephant, an ostrich and a crocodile stop a bloke in the street.
The crocodile pulls out a police badge and says, "We have reason to believe you are carrying substances of a hallucinogenic nature, Sir."
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
The instructions are simple...
Must be some good shit - if you could mistake a pig for a crocodile...
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
They call me Mr Fahrenheit
Originally Posted by Swoop
It was a chicken, not an ostrich.
Keep on chooglin'
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
Q: How much coke did Charlie Sheen take?
A: Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Dickens Cider
NZ Post have a new stamp with a picture of a fanny on it, sadly it has had to be removed as 75% of men don't know how to lick it properly!
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SKY NEWS: Lady Gaga has sent her sympathy to Phil Collins Wife on the sad news about his retirement from the music business.
She knows what it`s like to live with a cock...
No body move... I dropped my brain
Bogeyman
Slippery when wet is the right place innit?
Besides, we invented a machine to do that for you didn't we?
Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon
Dickens Cider
Interesting is the invention of the vibrator, and the medical philosophy behind it....
Quote
A physician in 1859 claimed that a quarter of all women suffered from hysteria, which is reasonable considering that one physician cataloged 75 pages of possible symptoms of hysteria and called the list incomplete; almost any ailment could fit the diagnosis.
Rachael P. Maines, author of The Technology of Orgasm: "Hysteria," the Vibrator, and Women's Sexual Satisfaction, has observed that such cases were quite profitable for physicians, since the patients were at no risk of death but needed constant treatment. The only problem was that physicians did not enjoy the tedious task of massage: The technique was difficult for a physician to master and could take hours to achieve "hysterical paroxysm." Referral to midwives, which had been common practice, meant a loss of business for the physician.
A solution was the invention of massage devices, which shortened treatment from hours to minutes, removing the need for midwives and increasing a physician’s treatment capacity. Already at the turn of the century, hydrotherapy devices were available at Bath, and by the mid-19th century, they were popular at many high-profile bathing resorts across Europe and in America. By 1870, a clockwork-driven vibrator was available for physicians. In 1873, the first electromechanical vibrator was used at an asylum in France for the treatment of hysteria.
While physicians of the period acknowledged that the disorder stemmed from sexual dissatisfaction, they seemed unaware of or unwilling to admit the sexual purposes of the devices used to treat it. In fact, the introduction of the speculum was far more controversial than that of the vibrator, perhaps because of its phallic nature.
By the turn of the century, the spread of home electricity brought the vibrator to the consumer market. The appeal of cheaper treatment in the privacy of one’s own home understandably made the vibrator a popular early home appliance. In fact, the electric home vibrator was on the market before many other home appliance ’essentials’: nine years before the electric vacuum cleaner and 10 years before the electric iron. A page from a Sears catalog of home electrical appliances from 1918 includes a portable vibrator with attachments, billed as ”Very useful and satisfactory for home service.”
It was invented out of pure lazyness then?
No body move... I dropped my brain
Rasta Ratskins
Like this then?
Only a Rat can win a Rat Race!
The instructions are simple...
No. No. No....
It was invented out of pure lazyness then?
Out of a genuine desire to save you money...that you could then spend on shoes. Etc.
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Dickens Cider
A red cross? A very red cross woman if you don't satisfy her lady bits! can't see pic
How true, it does save us money - we spend YOUR money on shoes!
No body move... I dropped my brain
Bogeyman
We make special heavy duty tools to satisfy you concave lot and your unnaturally prolonged fetishes and we're lazy?It was invented out of pure lazyness then?
Typical.
Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon
Grumpy Old Bastard
"The only problem was that physicians did not enjoy the tedious task of massage: The technique was difficult for a physician to master and could take hours to achieve "
Damn. I coulda made a FORTUNE!
. “No pleasure is worth giving up for two more years in a rest home.” Kingsley Amis
The instructions are simple...
There could be an 'opening' in ChCh at the mo.
Reports just in of prossies making between $700 and $1400 a night. So the guys are being taken care of.
With batteries not staying on the shelves and the power still off in a lot of homes, there must be some hysterical women in need...
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
I'd been having an affair with my secretary for a while and often suggested we try a little bondage.
I was late this morning and as I walked into my office, I found my secretary, bound and gagged and bent over the desk.
"You little minx," I said, dropping my trousers.
"Your muffled moans are such a turn on," I said, panting heavily, "but I'm still going to have to tell you off, for leaving the safe wide open".
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
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