I have a nickname for my boss at work. It is "Hedgehog".
All the pricks you could ever imagine rolled into one.
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
I have a nickname for my boss at work. It is "Hedgehog".
All the pricks you could ever imagine rolled into one.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Forum whore
A trucker came home from the road, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts."
She looked a little confused, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start."
This time she looked a little pissed, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer, it's gonna start any second."
"That's it!" She blows her top, "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"
The trucker sighed. "Oh shit, it's started."
"Statistics are used as a drunk uses lampposts - for support, not illumination."
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
A Glaswegian family are having breakfast around the table one morning. The eldest son tells his dad "I'm gay".
"Yer fucking wit? A fucking poof?!?!" his other son says "me too dad" "WHIT THE FUCK?!?! Two fucking benders!! Does nae cunt like fanny in this hoose?!?!"
His daughter says " I do!".
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
Paul McCartney's finding it hard to adapt to his new wife.
When she asks for a foot rub he still keeps reaching for the sandpaper.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
BMW Motorrad
If you can make it on Kiwibiker you can make it anywhere.
Smarty pants... since ages ago
My ex girl-friend reckoned I should get a penis enlarger ...
So I DID ....
Her names Sally ... and shes 21 ...
When life throws you a curve ... Lean into it ...
"trolling"
Two for the girls
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. (John 15:13)
Dickens Cider
Cant go to your Doctor because you have confidence issues?
Struggle on with painful issues for years rather than face your fear?
Channel 4 has the answer, -
Embarrassing Bodies.
Where getting your minging, swollen vag out on national TV and being sent to some clinic where a consultant fingers you in front of the cameraman takes far less confidence than doing it in a sealed private room.
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You know you have low standards when you find yourself masturbating while watching Embarrassing Bodies
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I felt sorry for the poor guy on "Embarrassing Bodies - Norfland Edition" who only had two nipples.
No body move... I dropped my brain
Scooter boy
Lately the economy has become so bad here that my wife has resorted to having sex with me again to save money on batteries. Oh, the humanity!
"Today I learned that a Gladius was a short sword used by the Roman Legion
I thought it might have been Latin for vagina, or something...... "
HenryDorsetCase
Weekend cruiser
An Arab diplomat visiting the U.S. for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was unused to the salt in American foods (french fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water. Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty-handed. Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water? demanded the Grand Emir. A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One, stammered the wretched Abdul, there is a white man sitting on the well.
Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.
Weekend cruiser
It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?" "Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you." He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar." The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."
100th post!!!
Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.
Weekend cruiser
There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been traveling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel. He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and go on it again. Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful blondes sitting in it. He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help. The hottest girl said ,"If you fix our car we will do anything you want." The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash. When he finished are three girls asked,"How could we ever repay you Mr." After thinking for a short while he replied,"Could you hold my camel?"
Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.
"trolling"
two for the boys
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. (John 15:13)
The instructions are simple...
A married couple down on their luck decides to make a few extra bucks by reluctantly having the wife work the corner.
After the first day the husband picks her up and asks "How did you do?".
She says, "I did pretty well, I made $200.50".
He asks, "What asshole gave you 50 cents?" and she replies "All of them".
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
Riots have flared up in Italy now, but stopped when the protesters realised they were losing and joined the police halfway through.
Just like old times...
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
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