Friday jokes

**Vacquer0** · 17th October 2011, 14:59

**specter** · 17th October 2011, 16:42

Did you hear the joke about the Welshman, Australian,and Argentinian who walk into a bar?

Well a Welshman, Australian,and Argentinian walk into the International Departures bar at Auckland Airport.

**Indiana_Jones** · 17th October 2011, 17:58

Why are niggers like Christmas tree lights?

Some work, some don't, they're chained together and they look great hangin' from a tree.

-Indy

PS. Don't get upset, it's just a joke!

**_Shrek_** · 18th October 2011, 12:26

Thought for the day

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**nadroj** · 18th October 2011, 15:58

Frogsville

**Swoop** · 19th October 2011, 09:31

After the success of the "Occupy Wall Street" movement, a similar protest is taking place in Germany.

They're going for the tried and trusted "Occupy Poland" approach.

The British government have advised people to watch out that they're not being sold fake 2012 Olympic tickets.
I think I'll be alright though. My tickets for the men's wheelchair triple jump seem genuine enough.

**Dodgy_Matt** · 19th October 2011, 17:00

Saint Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates when two blacks and two Mexican guys arrive. St. Peter looked out through the Gates and said "Wait here. I will be right back".
St. Peter goes over to God's chambers and tells him who is waiting for entrance.
God says to Peter: "How many times do I have to tell you, you can't be racist and judgmental here. This is heaven. All are loved. All are brothers. Go back and let them in!"
St. Peter goes back to the Gates, looks around, and lets out a heavy sigh. He returns to God's chambers and says "Well, they're gone".
"Who, the black and Mexican guys?" asked God.
"No... the Pearly Gates".

**Dodgy_Matt** · 19th October 2011, 17:00

My virgin mate just pulled a girl while we were on holiday in Thailand. He said, "We're off back to the hotel room if you know what I mean - any advice?" I said "Yeah, make sure she wears a condom".

**ellipsis** · 19th October 2011, 17:12

...we have new neighbours..they have three moaning whining dogs locked up in a run all day...she told my mrs and i that we will get used to them, soon..

...i got my CB350F running for Greymouth last Friday and took it out onto our road for the usual test run...three passes past their gate had them out scowling at me...i told them 'i have five more like this in my shed, you will get used to them soon'..

...made my week...

**_Shrek_** · 19th October 2011, 19:59

I found out there's a long waiting list for this job

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**_Shrek_** · 19th October 2011, 22:39

National Geographics found this Cougar asleep in a tree after a night out on the hunt

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ps got this off FB

**tigertim20** · 19th October 2011, 23:09

looks like she's tryna scratch her fanny . . .

**_Shrek_** · 20th October 2011, 19:55

I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but by turning to religion I was
soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're
stoning the slag in the morning !

My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkeys.
I thought she was joking........And then I saw her face

My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of
Swan Vista matches.....his little face lit up when he tried to walk.