kb thanks you for giving negative feedback.
kb thanks you for giving negative feedback.
Then I could get a Kb Tshirt, move to Timaru and become a full time crossdressing faggot
"Droids claim they were molested by George Lucas during filming for Star Wars"
#R2Me2
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
No recollection at all
For any mechanics in the audience
(if there are any left...)
High miles, engine knock, rusty chrome, worn pegs...
Brakes as new
Women have eyes in the back of their heads.
Unless driving.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
NEWS FLASH!
An archaeological team, working on a dig in Pompeii, have found the house Keith Richards grew up in.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
What do these words mean?
A little boy and his friends are being
called bastards and bitches by bullies at
school.The boy goes home and asks,
"Dad what are bastards and bitches?"
And his dad replies,"Bitches are ladies
and bastards are gentlemen." Then the
boy goes upstairs to see his mum.As
he enters the room he accidentally
drops a perfume bottle,and his mum
says "Shit!" "Mum what is shit?" and
she says,"Perfume." So he goes to see
his dad ( who is carving a chicken ). and
his dad cuts himself and yells,"Fuck!"
The boy asks,"Dad what does fuck
mean?"and dad says "Preparing."
Then he follows his dad upstairs.A few
minutes later his mum and dad are
about to have sex when his dad says,
"Where are the condoms?" The little
boy asks,"What are condoms?" and
his father says,"Condoms are coats
and jackets." The following night his
father invites over some important
busuness clients.The boy opens the
door for them and says,"Hello! please
come in,Bastards and bitches.Hang
your condoms up here,my mum is
upstairs rubbing shit on her face and
my dad is downstairs fucking the
chicken."
I can't see why female linesman, umpires and referees could be any worse than the idiots we have now.
I mean, if there is something women are good at, it is pointing out mistakes made by men.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.
But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.
He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.
He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.
Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU do?
What Lancelot chose is below.
BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below.
OKAY?
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now....what is the moral to this story?
The moral is..... If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly
When life throws you a curve ... Lean into it ...
Apparently, North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York, which is a bit scary.
If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.
Men with beards 50 years ago: “I'm going to the woods to chop down some trees.”
Men with beards today: “I'm going to the shops there's a new face mask that’s gluten-free.”
I said to a Policeman "If I called you a cunt would you arrest me?
The Policeman replied "Yes I would arrest you".
I said "What if I was just thinking you're a cunt"?
"There's not much I can do about that" he replied.
"Good" I said, "Because I think you're a cunt"!
Police have arrested a woman for stealing a sign reading; "& Emergency". She claimed she found it by Accident
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Chinaman named Hooley Dooley
Have Aussie wife and love her truely
For years they long for little
fellow
But them not want his skin be
yellow
Go to Doctor to seek advice
He say he no help,this natures
vice
So watch tv while they sit
Find a way of doing it,
on the job without delay
sideways like the chinese way
Baby born amist great delight
Little fellow ajax white.
Doctor say that he don't know
How baby is as white as snow
Chinese daddy speak up now
He say tv show then how
Hooley Dooley he no fooley
He use Persil on his tooley
Rub some Harpic on the end
Keep him clean right around the
bend.
Wife also very canny
Put white Magic on her fanny.
Colgate for a final rinse
Give her ring of confidence.
Instant starch and Reckitts Blue
Soon have baby number two.
Three Football Fans
Three football fans were driving along
when they spied a body
in the undergrowth.
Stopping their car,the three
guys ran over to see what they
could do.
Unfortunately,they found the
nude body of a deceased young woman.
Being gentlemen,the first
guy dropped his spurs hat over
one breast.The second guy a
Liverpool fan,placed his hat
over the other breast.
The Manchester United fan then
placed his hat over the women's
private parts.
Soon the police arrived,the
copper started checking over
the body.He picked up
the spurs hat and quickly
placed it back.
He then picked up the Liverpool hat
and returned it.Then he picked
up the Man United fan hat,put
it down,then picked it up again inspecting
the hat more closely and then put
it down.Then he picked it up a
third time.By this time,the
Man United fan was a bit irritated
and he asked,"Why do you keep picking
up that hat? Are you some kind of
pervert or something?' The copper
responded with a wry smile,"Son,I
can't figure this one out.Usually
when I come across one of these
Man United hats there's an
arsehole under it."
Fair play Harry you do what you need to do, it’s yours and your families lives . Don’t worry about what your dad thinks or Prince Charles for that matter.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
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