Friday jokes

[Laava]

Bwahahahahahaha!
https://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/350229...holyfields-ear

[roogazza]

Happy New Zealand Day !!!

[roogazza]

[Swoop]

Just remember, the same people complaining there aren't enough fire trucks to help with fires in California, are the same people that tell you that vehicles are harming the planet.

[Piper]

Nicknames For Lazy coworkers

Cordless
-only works for 2 hours.

E.T.
-Always wants to go home.

Kit Kat
-Always taking a break.

Muffler
-Always exhausted.

Seaweed
-Just floats around all day.

Sensor light
-Only works if someone walks past.

Wheelbarrow
-Only works when pushed.


A married woman is
caught shoplifting a
bag of apples. In
court, the judge says,
"I don't usually do this
but to set an example
I'm sentencing you to
spend a day in jail,
one for each apple"
That's a week in total!
Her husband raises his
hand, "Your honour, I
have to confess, she
also stole a bag of rice
the day before "

[Bikkie]

A man had just opened a restaurant but he couldn’t think of a name, so he decided to name it after the third person that walks in.

The third person walks in and the guy asked for her name.
She said, “Jill.”

“Well Jill, you have nice legs.”
So the guy named the restaurant “Jill’s Legs.”

A week later a drunk was laying on the sidewalk outside the restaurant when a police officer asked him what he was doing.

He replied: “I’m waiting for Jill’s Legs to open so I can get a bite to eat.”