Friday jokes

[YellowDog]

______________

[YellowDog]

Jane(s) Bond

[Reckless]

Mrs Parks a teacher asks her 6th grade class

Which Body part increases in size 10 times when stimulated?

No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said,
"You should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents,
and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!"
With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down.
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again,
"Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
Little Mary's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, "Boy, is she gonna get in big trouble!"
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?"
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said,
"The body part that increases ten times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."
Mrs. Parks said, "Excellent, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued,

"As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:

(1) you have a dirty mind,

(2) you didn't read your homework, and

(3) one day, you are going to be very, very disappointed."

[husaberg]

News in from Disney
Six of the seven Dwarves are not Happy.

[YellowDog]

__________

[Swoop]

Fun fact: In medieval times, people used to attach a lamp to a horse when riding at night. This is the earliest known form of saddle light navigation.

[roogazza]

Hope I haven't sent these before ??????

[husaberg]

Putin: The warship Moskva has not sunk it has simply been reclassified as a new type of submarine and is on a special underwater operation.

[Swoop]

If you ask Rick Astley for his copy of the movie UP, he cannot give it to you as he will never give you up.
However, in doing so, he lets you down. Thus creating the Astley Paradox.

[YellowDog]

__________________________

[Reckless]

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1833991183471710

[roogazza]

[roogazza]

So an elderly Italian man living alone in New Jersey wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
😊

[roogazza]

xxxxxx

[YellowDog]

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