At this current time, apparently dressing up completely as the Grim Reaper and going and standing in close proximity to older people at the supermarket is considered "Massively insensitive."
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
At this current time, apparently dressing up completely as the Grim Reaper and going and standing in close proximity to older people at the supermarket is considered "Massively insensitive."
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Grumpy Old Bastard
No sense of humour, eh?Originally Posted by Swoop
. “No pleasure is worth giving up for two more years in a rest home.” Kingsley Amis
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
New Deluxe, never used, 2020 planner - 50c.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
So I got following this fit bird out jogging..
Imagine tall pretty blonde, nice bobbling boobs and you could make out her sweating G-string under her tight body hugging joggers.
You could tell after a while she was aware of my attention, speeding more and more, but I managed to keep at least 5 metres away, just so it wasn't too obvious, besides, I was enjoying the view.
Eventually a police car stopped me in my tracks...
"What have I done wrong?" I protested. "I kept my social distancing!"
"Sir, you're holding up the rest of the traffic with your lorry."
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
The only way the Coronavirus will die is if it has dirt on the Clintons.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
Britain has reached out to the world for their expertise in fighting this virus:
The Americans have offered to help with ventilators.
The Chinese have offered to help with lockdown advice.
The Italians have offered help with how the virus spreads.
The French have offered help on how run away from it.
The Germans have offered help on cremating the bodies.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
At least one group of people are celebrating this coronavirus and the lockdown this Easter.
Altar boys!
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
Bagpipes are the only musical instrument that when you learn to play them properly, sound exactly the same as when you started.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
Headlines:
'Bono helps Ireland's search for medical supplies'
Is that wise? The cunt's not got a great record of finding what he's looking for...
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
L-Plate Rider
Car Mechanics Stock Phrases And What They Really Mean
Car Mechanics
stock phrases And
What They Really Mean.
"Tss,it's a long
job"="I'm going to
screw you over labour costs."
"I'm afraid we can't fit
in until 2 weeks on
Tuesday"="I don't want to
do this job because it
won't make me any money."
"I'm ever so sorry,but
the part is out of
stock"="We forgot about it
until you phoned just now."
"As a rough estimate,I'd
say about $250"="$650
at least when you get the bill."
"I'll give you a ring when the
job is done."="The fuck I will,
you'll have to phone me for
the next 2 days."
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
"Why we need women’s leadership in the COVID-19 response"
Spot on.
During the times like these, we need to maintain high standards of hygiene and listen to the people who know about cleaning.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
Let's see:
I'm at home.
I waste hours on the internet.
I binge watch TV.
I have food delivered.
Fuck me -- I've become a Millennial.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
All these religious cunts that claim Covid 19 is a plague sent by god to punish us for Homosexuality, and have now tested positive themselves.
Although I wish them well, it's a fucking convoluted way for them to come out of the closet.
I've wondered about Julian Assange recently. After years of isolation, then being locked down by the police, how ironic would it be if he was released today... only to be locked down again?
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
Reports that "North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is seriously ill after heart surgery are not true", officials in North Korea have said.
Rumours that Kim Jong Un is "gravely ill, in a coma and possibly brain dead" are impossible to verify.
If true it's hoped that peace talks with President Trump can continue on an Intellectual level playing field.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
L-Plate Rider
Sick Text Jokes
Captain Tom Moore's only
his stage name.
Hjs real name is
Thomas Zimmerman.
The radio played
Captain Tom and
Michael ball performing
"You'll Never Walk Alone"
and I imagine that people
who have been been stuck
on their settees on
locldown,or even wheelchair
bound,were inspired to get
up and walk.
Just enough to switch the
fucking racket off.
Dear Diary,my
close friends asked
me to go camping
today.
So I made a list of
things I'll need...1 )
New friends.
I was approached
by an old slag in
Wellington,"Would
you like to fuck
me for$20?" she asked.
"Why not," I said,"I
could do with the
money.
Shaving off your
pubes with a
cut-throat razor
shows that you're
got balls.
Thanks to GPS
nobody cares how
street smart you
are now.
A mate of mine
made a small
fortune seling
selfie sticks to
schoolgirls.
Or as most people
call them,vibrators.
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