Friday jokes

[husaberg]

[YellowDog]

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[YellowDog]

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[roogazza]

Merry bloody Christmas all xxxxxxx

[Bikkie]

A man decided to tattoo his wife’s name on his cock. When hard it reads Wendy on the side of his shaft. When soft it only reads Wy.
On his honeymoon in Jamaica, he’s in the public bog and notices the bloke in the urinal next to him also has Wy tattooed on his cock. He asks him if his wife is also named Wendy. The bloke replies, “No man, why do you ask?”
The husband explains his Wendy tattoo. The stranger laughs and then says, “When hard, mine reads Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day”.

[Swoop]

The NSW Police have found a large number of dead crows on the Sturt Highway just outside Wagga Wagga early this morning, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu.

The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws.

By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorbikes, while only 2% were killed by cars.

The investigators then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorbike kills versus car kills.

The Ornithological (Bird) Behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.

They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "bike".

[husaberg]

[YellowDog]

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[YellowDog]

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[roogazza]

Attachment 350409

[husaberg]

[husaberg]

[husaberg]

[jim.cox]

Out the door, Line on the left, One cross each

[Swoop]

The rabbi of a Texas synagogue who was taken hostage on Saturday, has described how he threw a chair at the gunman in order to allow him and other hostages to escape.

Senior members of the synagogue praised the rabbi's actions before presenting him with a bill for the broken chair.