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Thread: Friday jokes

  1. #4906
    Join Date
    1st November 2005 - 08:18
    Bike
    F-117.
    Location
    Banana Republic of NZ
    Posts
    6,982
    My heart sank as I came home from work and saw the plumber's van parked in our drive.

    Thankfully though, he was just in there fucking the wife and there was no expensive leak.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  2. #4907
    Join Date
    21st June 2016 - 08:52
    Bike
    1976 Honda 125
    Location
    Wellington
    Posts
    5

    Smile Priest Karma

    A priest dies and
    his spirit is in the
    void when a
    voice calls tp
    him,"Well my
    old son,you got
    it wrong,karma
    is the law of the
    universe and you
    need to go back
    and learn your
    lesson." "I
    understand," said
    the priest,"but
    please, don't
    send me back as
    a priest,the
    things I did I'm
    really sorry for
    and I will need to
    learn restraint
    and compassion."
    "Oh,you don't
    get off that easy,"
    replied the
    voice."You're
    going back as a
    choirboy.

  3. #4908
    Join Date
    8th July 2006 - 22:35
    Bike
    Now bikeless :-(
    Location
    New Plymouth
    Posts
    459

    Church Squirrels

    In a small American town, a band of squirrels had become quite a problem.

    The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with them.

    At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

    The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.

    The Methodist church tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.

    But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy. They baptised all the squirrels and made them members of the church . Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

    And not much was heard from the Jewish Synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.

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