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Thread: Friday jokes

  1. #5011
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    The Prophet Mohammed was well-known for taking and trading slaves, but I don't hear any of these 'woke' lefties calling for his statue to be pulled down.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  2. #5012
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    13th April 2007 - 17:09
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    ___________________________________

  3. #5013
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    I used to have a Pet Rat... He was a friendly chap.
    People used to say "Urgh..What made you want to keep Rats?" ...I'd tell them, "Well, there's a big difference between Pet Rats, and Sewer Rats"
    "Really?" they'd say.."What's the difference?"
    I'd reply "Pet Rats don't aspire to become labour party members"
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  4. #5014
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swoop View Post
    I used to have a Pet Rat... He was a friendly chap.
    People used to say "Urgh..What made you want to keep Rats?" ...I'd tell them, "Well, there's a big difference between Pet Rats, and Sewer Rats"
    "Really?" they'd say.."What's the difference?"
    I'd reply "Pet Rats don't aspire to become labour party members"
    It must really gall you to have to accept that you are alive right now possibly because of the actions of the Labour government in preventing covid becoming as well established here as it is in (say) US or Britain or one of those other countries who dont suffer a semi socialist leadership.
    it's not a bad thing till you throw a KLR into the mix.
    those cheap ass bitches can do anything with ductape.
    (PostalDave on ADVrider)

  5. #5015
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    Quote Originally Posted by pete376403 View Post
    It must really gall you to have to accept that you are alive right now possibly because of the actions of the Labour government in preventing covid becoming as well established here as it is in (say) US or Britain or one of those other countries who dont suffer a semi socialist leadership.
    Nope.
    In fact the exact opposite since they were as swift as a herd of turtles stampeding through jelly, to commence any action that "saved the population".
    Never trust a socialist.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  6. #5016
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    Schrödinger's Twat.

    A person that says offensive things, then decides whether or not they are joking based on other people's reactions.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  7. #5017
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    I had the Hiroshima Breakfast this morning.

    One giant mushroom and loads of burnt soldiers.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  8. #5018
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    21st June 2016 - 08:52
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    Smile Solution

    Solution

    I couldn't help but overhear
    two guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at the
    bar last night.
    One of the guys says to his
    buddy:"Mate you look
    tired."
    His buddy says:"Mate I'm
    exhausted.My girlfriend
    and I have sex all the time.
    She's after me 3 and 4 times
    a day.
    She wants sex before
    breakfast,sex before I go to
    work,when I come home
    she's tearing my shirt off as
    I come through the door.
    She's got her hands down
    my pants after dinner,she
    even joins me in the shower
    almost every night.I just
    don't know what to do."
    A fellow in his 50's sitting a
    couple of stools down.also
    overheard the
    conversation.
    He looked over at the two
    young men and with the
    wisdom of years said,"Marry
    her.That'll put a
    stop to all that shit."

  9. #5019
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    If Hitler hadn’t killed himself and went on trial at Nuremberg…

    Judge: “You have been found guilty of the genocidal murder of six million Jews, and of causing the most destructive war in human history. Do you have anything to say?”

    Hitler: “I’m a vegan.”
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  10. #5020
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    Now that Washington have agreed to drop the "Redskins" part of their name as it was considered offensive to the natives, America's gay male community have requested the Green Bay Packers do the same.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  11. #5021
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    Bordering on stupidity - Canada and Mexico
    it's not a bad thing till you throw a KLR into the mix.
    those cheap ass bitches can do anything with ductape.
    (PostalDave on ADVrider)

  12. #5022
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    I’ve just finished building a model of Mount Everest.

    My mate asked “Is it to scale?”

    “No” I replied, “It’s to look at”
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  13. #5023
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    This really hot woman with massive tits and a short skirt got into the lift with me. The lift then stopped.

    "Great" she said "how long are we going to be stuck in here for?"

    "Dunno" I replied, "maybe hours" and as she got hotter she started to unbutton her top a little more. Then she noticed my erection and started to smile, after a few minutes I had her naked and was balls deep in her. We finished our fuck and she started to get dressed, "I've never seen you in here before, what department do you work in?" She asked.

    "Oh, I don't work here" I answered, "I'm just here to fix the lift".
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  14. #5024
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    Some photos:
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  15. #5025
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    Jim Beam anyone?
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