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Thread: Friday jokes

  1. #5131
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    You'd never go hungry with Nigella Gaz.
    If it weren't for flashbacks...I'd have no memory at all..

  2. #5132
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    1st November 2005 - 08:18
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    I saw this faggot wearing a wig and asked him, "Oi, Tranny boy, what do you "identify" as ?"

    "A judge," he replied, as my trial got off to an abysmal start...
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  3. #5133
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    6,000 people have signed a petition calling for Jeff Bezos to be DENIED re-entry to Earth after he launches into space next month.

    Stuck in a metal box, pissing in a bottle, forever - just like his employees...
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  4. #5134
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    I met my wife at the zoo.

    The moment I saw her there, dressed head to toe in khaki and covered in animal shit, I knew she was a keeper.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  5. #5135
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    Police are still hunting a spectator who caused a massive pile up at the 2021 Tour De Farce.

    Heroes don't always wear capes.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  6. #5136
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    I came home earlier and heard the wife's voice from the kitchen.
    "Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
    Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
    Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
    Lizard's leg, and howlet's wing."

    This can only mean one thing. She's been down that fucking Chinese supermarket again.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  7. #5137
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    To the women who say "Men are only interested in one thing"

    Have you ever considered being more interesting?
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  8. #5138
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    The only thing Flat Earthers fear, is sphere itself!
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  9. #5139
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    13th April 2007 - 17:09
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swoop View Post
    The only thing Flat Earthers fear, is sphere itself!
    ____________________________________________
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  10. #5140
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    The Tokyo Olympics should be abandoned because drug abuse is rife. It became immediately obvious at the opening ceremony, when the athletes started waving to the crowd in an empty stadium.


    I watched the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games with a group of mates and we decided to drink a small glass of sake every time we heard the word 'diversity' mentioned. When I regained consciousness this morning, I discovered that three of my friends had died of alcohol poisoning.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  11. #5141
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swoop View Post
    The Tokyo Olympics should be abandoned because drug abuse is rife. It became immediately obvious at the opening ceremony, when the athletes started waving to the crowd in an empty stadium.


    I watched the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games with a group of mates and we decided to drink a small glass of sake every time we heard the word 'diversity' mentioned. When I regained consciousness this morning, I discovered that three of my friends had died of alcohol poisoning.
    That's very funny. It's ashame they had to throw out the Hulocaust fellow and the sexist senior executives. Surely including them would have been a plus on the diversity front

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