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Thread: Words from George Carlin

  1. #1
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    Words from George Carlin

    His stand up stuff is pretty good....but I liked this as well, in a more serious vein. I think he's dead right for the most part...


    Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent...and so very appropriate.

    A Message by George Carlin
    The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

    We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

    We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

    We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

    We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

    These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

    Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

    Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

    Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

    Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

    Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

    Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

    AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

    Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.



    George Carlin
    . “No pleasure is worth giving up for two more years in a rest home.” Kingsley Amis

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    Bit more user friendly than his 7 words you can't say on tv.
    Hello officer put it on my tab

    Don't steal the government hates competition.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ynot slow View Post
    Bit more user friendly than his 7 words you can't say on tv.
    Funny how these 7 words you can't say on Television, are now so common now days.

    I like the double meaning words.

    Prick,
    its OK to prick your finger, but don't finger you prick
    Why would you ride that long and that gnarly stuff if you don't have to, Its what we do, we love it.
    Nathan Woods R.I.P.

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    Carlin made the mistake of thinking everyone was as miserable as he is, He looked at the past through rose coloured glasses so he could bitch and moan about the present.

    I found the guy entertaining enough, But a lot of his shit doesn't stack up.

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    Snopes: >>Just about any unsourced list of witty observations about our politics and social mores gets credited to the humorist these days, even when it doesn't really sound like anything he would write.<<

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    Still, between George Carlin and Bill Hicks we're down two good men.
    It is preferential to refrain from the utilisation of grandiose verbiage in the circumstance that your intellectualisation can be expressed using comparatively simplistic lexicological entities. (...such as the word fuck.)

    Remember your humanity, and forget the rest. - Joseph Rotblat

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    Quote Originally Posted by Big Dave View Post
    Snopes: >>Just about any unsourced list of witty observations about our politics and social mores gets credited to the humorist these days, even when it doesn't really sound like anything he would write.<<
    Yeah it isn't his, but it is still quite good.
    Redefining slow since 2006...

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    Quote Originally Posted by slofox View Post
    His stand up stuff is pretty good....but I liked this as well, in a more serious vein. I think he's dead right for the most part...


    Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent...and so very appropriate

    sorry SF .. not Carlin ..Pastor Dr. Bob Moorhead ..
    Life is tough. It's tougher when you're stupid

    SARGE
    represented by GCM

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    Quote Originally Posted by SARGE View Post
    sorry SF .. not Carlin ..Pastor Dr. Bob Moorhead ..
    I didn't think it sounded like Carlin - Too maudlin

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    Quote Originally Posted by rainman View Post
    Yeah it isn't his, but it is still quite good.
    I like the just hit delete part.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SARGE View Post
    sorry SF .. not Carlin ..Pastor Dr. Bob Moorhead ..
    NP Sarge - it came to me via email as I quoted it...whoever said it, I agree with it anyway.
    . “No pleasure is worth giving up for two more years in a rest home.” Kingsley Amis

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    George was quite the opposite. 'Don't give me that sanctity crap' was what I was trying to quote earlier - found it - Not work safe - George language


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    Quote Originally Posted by slofox View Post
    and pray too seldom.
    Its this part that made me question if it really was George.
    He who knows nothing, doubts nothing. | "Ah, swearing - Beloved crutch of the intellectually deviant." ~ Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

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    This thread is an insult to George.

    He would never say anything that sappy. I knew it wasn't him as soon as I saw the "and we pray too seldom" bit.

    This is George's bit here:

    "I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!

    I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.

    Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet and pushin the envelope. I’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I’ve got no need for coke and speed. I've got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab and in denial!

    I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up. You can’t dumb me down because I’m tireless and I’m wireless, I’m an alpha male on beta-blockers.

    I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last! I’m a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic and I’ve got a love-child that sends me hate mail.

    But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing-- a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports! I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.

    I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the “F” word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore--no soft porn.

    I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow lane. I’m toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

    I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean! Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I’ve got glide in my stride. Drivin and movin, sailin and spinin, jiving and groovin, wailin and winnin. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time. I’m hangin in, there ain’t no doubt and I’m hangin tough, over and out!"

    Stupid Pastors trying to imitate him and pass off their Xtian shit as GC!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEfx8OeTA1g

    http://www.georgecarlin.com/home/dontblame.html - Carlins response to the "sappy load of shit" email

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