Some advice please.

[Bonez]

As some know my stepson past away just over a month ago. Because his estate was small my wife is the personnal representitive . At the time of his death he was flatting with a girl, been with her around 4 months. Now we weren't nasty and demanded all of Ross's worldly goods (we have a funeral to pay for) be removed from the flat straight away. Leaving a few items, beds, tables, fridge and the like on loan till she got her stuff over from Feilding. Even left the bond, flat transferred to her name of course.

There was even a room we wheren't told about till much later that may have had some of Ross's gear which the girl hasn't come fwd with. This was mentioned by freinds some time later. When asked by me and Connie on a few occations as to what was Ross's I wasn't given a straight answer either. Babbled on about a few times about putting a small amount of money, $300, towards a few contents in the flat which we haven't refuted. We also temporarily left a dog with her, which was'nt registered, but bought by Ross for his son before he even met the girl. This was a month ago.

All was going fairly well untill tonight. We now get informed that the girl has registered the dog and is keeping it. Its as a text so we have evidence if needed. She hadn't consulted with Connie. Some excuse about not having enough time, shes had 3 weeks at least and Connie mention a few times she'd like it here at home for the grandson. Went around to the flat tonight to get the dog. As far as we where concerned it wasn't hers to keep, but belonged to our grandson. No go. Some comments from a lady we've never meet which where quite frankly lies. I wont go into details.

What is the correct course action? We've been quite accomodating up to this point but are now a bit wary. Thinking about it now a few things told by this girl since Ross's death just don't gell at all, could be just because I'm a bit brassed off though. Connies going to a lawyer tomorrow. We're also getting affidavits together from freinds of Ross's who where well on the scene before this girl was.

Your thoughts. Oh and thanks for those who gave support over the last month or so. Much appreciated.

I've found the last month or so quite an eye opener to say the least.

[chanceyy]

Condolences to you & Connie Bonez , you guys have been in my thoughts over the last month or so

your right to be wary, and generally getting lawyers involved will be a costly drawn out process.. have you thought to enquire with the police ?
Also wondering if Citzens advice may have ideas on how to handle the situation

Good luck

[Bonez]

Condolences to you & Connie Bonez , you guys have been in my thoughts over the last month or so

your right to be wary, and generally getting lawyers involved will be a costly drawn out process.. have you thought to enquire with the police ?
Also wondering if Citzens advice may have ideas on how to handle the situation

Good luck

Thanks Chancey. Yip I've considered contacting the police.
Citizens advice is a good call.

Tonight just seemed to be the strew that broke the camels back as it were.
Just really peaved at moment .

[chanceyy]

its a tricky one Bonez, but for sure make enquires with the police .. however I would be trying to get the stuff out asap.. the longer it stays in the property the harder it will be to recover

hmm the dog situation reminds me of the lab ppl found (his owner died out hunting) family asked for him back as the dog was inseperable from its owner and a part of the family .. that unfortunately did not happen .. If I remember correctly there is a thread on here about it ..

[86GSXR]

That stinks Bonez. My thoughts would be that if you know the person who Ross bought the dog from, get them to affidavit it as well.

Also, any affidavits that may be used in later proceedings must be witnessed by a lawyer, police officer, JP, court official, etc. I'd suggest a court official as they are free of charge. There should also be a duty JP at the courthouse.

The affidavits, police and the lawyer if you go down that road should see you right.

[buffstar]

I am sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my son just over a year ago so will not try and offer you empty words as they do no good.
My 2cents would be: Fuck the slag. Do not waste any more of your time taking anyone elses feelings into consideration, or doing the 'right' thing. For this girl to have any ownership whatsoever with any of Ross's stuff she must have been living with him for 2 years, find someone like me, take them to the house, reclaim the possessions, and if the spinner calls the cops she's fucked (and you dont spend $$ with lawyers)

[ynot slow]

As you've said and Connie,all his posessions are part of his estate,maybe get a letter from lwyer or citizens advice,saying words of any goods of Ross' are part of his estate,not giving them to executor will result in theft charges being laid,you have 5 days to return said items.

[avgas]

I will get flamed for it - but take my advice.
Walk away with nothing but the good memories.
The more you have to deal with her the more its going to hurt.
Some things money can't buy - and pain and stress costs you your life (even in small parts).
Don't waste time, let her remain being a bitch and move on to remembering what was good about him. People as hollow as her will keep digging these holes and find at the end of life they have nothing.
Walk on and forget her and whatever crap/animals she has. Or else gamble those things most precious to you.

[StoneY]

As you've said and Connie,all his posessions are part of his estate,maybe get a letter from lwyer or citizens advice,saying words of any goods of Ross' are part of his estate,not giving them to executor will result in theft charges being laid,you have 5 days to return said items.

Thats the one, good advice

Sorry for your loss Bonez

If less than 2 years together she gets nothing, its been very kind of you and Connie to be so supportive, but time for you to think of the Grandson, and yep, give her a set period to relaes ALL his property including the dog (no shit Dognapping is a charge, my mate got done when his marriage split for taking the dog)

I would suggest 48 hours, and stake the property out to ensure no 'fire sales' occur

[p.dath]

I will get flamed for it - but take my advice.
Walk away with nothing but the good memories.
The more you have to deal with her the more its going to hurt.
Some things money can't buy - and pain and stress costs you your life (even in small parts).
Don't waste time, let her remain being a bitch and move on to remembering what was good about him. People as hollow as her will keep digging these holes and find at the end of life they have nothing.
Walk on and forget her and whatever crap/animals she has. Or else gamble those things most precious to you.

+1. I'm also assuming this was a flatmate and not a live in girlfriend.

Let the son pick out another dog if desired, but just let it go, and keep the positive memories.

[jim.cox]

+1.

let it go

and keep the positive

[sinfull]

I will get flamed for it - but take my advice.
Walk away with nothing but the good memories.
The more you have to deal with her the more its going to hurt.
Some things money can't buy - and pain and stress costs you your life (even in small parts).
Don't waste time, let her remain being a bitch and move on to remembering what was good about him. People as hollow as her will keep digging these holes and find at the end of life they have nothing.
Walk on and forget her and whatever crap/animals she has. Or else gamble those things most precious to you.

+1.

let it go

and keep the positive

+2 Bonez, walk away mate !
Get the lad another dog, not sure how old he'd be, but even at my age i know i'd want something puppyish so it wants cuddles !

[buffstar]

yep if you can walk away
However, all these 'things' become immensly important when the person is gone......... best of luck with whatever you decide

[avgas]

However, all these 'things' become immensly important when the person is gone......... best of luck with whatever you decide

But just remember - what you count as a prised possession, they count as a valuable weapon.
Don't go to war on hollowed grounds - for the gamble is not worth it.
I have seen pyres of photos and personal objects cause more harm than simply forgetting about them.

[CookMySock]

My 2cents would be: Fuck the slag. Do not waste any more of your time taking anyone elses feelings into consideration, or doing the 'right' thing.

Yeah thats what I always say too.

Walk away with nothing but the good memories.
The more you have to deal with her the more its going to hurt. Some things money can't buy - and pain and stress costs you your life

But this has become my motto recently. Some things aren't worth trying to fix. It's not worth yet another life just to be right.

There is also your emotional state to take note of. Perhaps you feel angry about other things, and now you need some outlet for this.

A hard thing you are going through. I'm glad its not me.

Steve