Beware of synthetic oil!

[KiwiGs]

SYNTHETIC OIL
Beware of synthetic oil, it can do terrible things to you and your beloved motorcycle. It will not only leak out of your engine faster than you can put it in, but it will also cause your oil filter to clog and implode, dumping debris and dirt into your lubrication system. It also will make every part of your bike permanently slippery because of its linear molecular chain dispersion action. Then it will leak onto your kickstand causing it to retract automatically, dropping your bike on the ground! But that's not all...

Synthetic oil will round off your gears and spin your bearings. It will also splatter onto your seat causing your girlfriend to fall off in the apex of a turn and she'll never ride with you again. Synthetic oil coats your sight window and your timing window with a whitish pro-emulsification additive that is both non-removable and highly corrosive. Synthetic oil will completely leak onto the ground overnight and your dog will drink it and die.

Synthetic oil will wear out your tires and make your battery leak. It will give you the desperate need to urinate after you put your full leathers on and then jam your zippers shut. It will contaminate your gasoline causing your bike to stall on railroad tracks and accelerate uncontrollably near police cars. It will make it rain during rallies and on weekends. It will lubricate your timing belts causing them to jump teeth and break your valves to bits. Synthetic oil chemically weakens desmodromic valves and causes the clearances to change every six miles. Then it melts the black soles of your riding boots right before you walk across your new carpeting.

While riding past groups of attractive women it will cause both of your handlebar grips to slip off at the same time so you smash your windscreen with the bridge of your nose. It also causes your swingarm to crack, your studs to break, and your rotors to warp, and then it voids your warranty by changing your odometer reading to 55,555. It also dries out your wet-clutch and wets your dry-clutch. It makes your clutch slave-cylinder seal fail in the heaviest traffic on the hottest day of the year while putting an angry wasp in your helmet for good measure.

Synthetic oil hides your 13mm socket and puts superglue on your earplugs. Synthetic oil will scratch your faceshield and make your gloves shrink two sizes night before trackday. Synthetic oil stole your neutral and sold it to the Chinese for $1.25. Synthetic oil will make you grow a tail. Synthetic oil will write long crazy e-mails to your Internet friends and then sign your name at the bottom!

Apologies if this is a repost........

[AllanB]

Plus it's useless as a sexual lubricant - it just does not offer enough friction and you end up going for it day after day, after day .........

Sometimes a Semi is OK

Pictures soon.

[xwhatsit]

Synthetic oil hides your 13mm socket

Fuckers...

Stuck with mineral for years then bought 1 litre of synthetic for a friend's bike... and now I learn the truth about where my 13mm socket went...

[Motu]

SYNTHETIC OIL
it will leak onto your kickstand causing it to retract automatically, dropping your bike on the ground!

Fuck!!! I wondered what was wrong with my BMW - I'll drain out the Silkolene Pro 4 this weekend! Luckily I got to it before the clutch started slipping.

[george formby]

It also hides 3rd, 4th & 5th gear while making my clutch scream like a seagull in a rat trap. Rendered whale blubber is the best thing for BM's.

[slofox]

and now I learn the truth about where my 13mm socket went...

Nah. That bit's bullshit. Disappearing sockets of any size have nothing to do with synthetic oil. I know this.

What actually happens is that those sockets get borrowed by Martians. They take them home to Mars and make copies of them to display in their technology museums. Eventually they bring them back and you find them again in some unexpected place - because those Martians never remember exactly where they took them from in the first place. Although, once in a blue moon, they do put them back exactly where they took them from.

I had them pinch a screwdriver once. I was using it to fix new guttering on the side of the house. I dropped it into a bush under the ladder. I couldn't find it even though I looked for bloody hours. I even cut the friggin' bush back to one foot high and the screwdriver was just plain fucking GONE. So I knew them Martians had it.

I eventually found it - back in the middle of the same bush - about two years later. The bastards had let it get rusty as well...I should have sent them a bill...

[avgas]

Some of the knobs here must drink it - they have no sense about who rides their bike.

[Hurrie]

how bad is semi senthetic oil cause i read somewhere that it was the best kinds of oil for cbr 250's which is why i just put it in today, took the bike on a small ride and it was alot smoother including the gear change.

[SMOKEU]

how bad is semi senthetic oil cause i read somewhere that it was the best kinds of oil for cbr 250's which is why i just put it in today, took the bike on a small ride and it was alot smoother including the gear change.

I run semi synthetic oil in my MC19. I've never tried fully synthetic oil in it because I've heard it may cause the clutch to slip.

[Hurrie]

I run semi synthetic oil in my MC19. I've never tried fully synthetic oil in it because I've heard it may cause the clutch to slip.

yeah MC19 here aswell, just bought the bike last week and did its first service today, gotta say, i love the sound of cbr's

[SMOKEU]

yeah MC19 here aswell, just bought the bike last week and did its first service today, gotta say, i love the sound of cbr's

They're a great bike. Their only big downfall is that the fuel pumps on them are made by Mitsubishi and they tend to fuck out. The fuel pump shat itself on my one, so if it hasn't been replaced yet on yours and it does shit itself then PM me and I'll tell you what to do.

[Hurrie]

They're a great bike. Their only big downfall is that the fuel pumps on them are made by Mitsubishi and they tend to fuck out. The fuel pump shat itself on my one, so if it hasn't been replaced yet on yours and it does shit itself then PM me and I'll tell you what to do.

i dont think it has been changed since its a recent import, but thanks i'll keep that in mind

[R6_kid:Me]

This must be the first time a joke thread has turned into something useful, rather than the other way around!

[Edbear]

This must be the first time a joke thread has turned into something useful, rather than the other way around!

It's early days yet...

I personally have found oil of any type to be very slippery stuff. It definitely does not improve the ability of clutches to transmit power to the gearbox. It stinks and smokes when burned and contrary to opinion does not make a good coating for exhaust manifolds.

Even engines only tolerate the stuff in exact quantities. Too much or too little and they stop working and sulk.

Oil can help you determine whether a bike is British or Japanese, however and makes interesting artwork on the garage floor, especially if a boot or tyre runs through it and spreads it around. Usually when a shoe or boot spreads it, the artwork is capped by a full body shaped impression within and above the oil stain.

[Mom]

A little bit of oil covers a huge amount of bike if let go under pressure. The tiniest gap in a gasket can render one complete side and in every nook and cranny, an oily, slimey mess. Dont think it matters whether it is synthetic or mineral though to be fair.