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Thread: Ante-natal classes

  1. #1
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    Ante-natal classes

    Started our baby classes last week. Went in with an unsure attitude but actually finding it quite a laugh and informative.

    One thing we learnt last night was that the fellah can basically catch the bubs as it's squeezed out of Mum. What the mid-wife tutor also said though...and this was the scary part....is that with all of the pushing going on, Mum's bowels can let loose.
    Soooo.....I'm going to receive a 7lb baby kid and a 5lb baby turd !!!!
    Niiiice.....


    "...you meet the weirdest people riding a Guzzi !!..."

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    Man you just scared me right out of the delivery room. One kiwi biker once said.. preserve the pussy cut the gut
    Thats whats up.

  3. #3
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    Is there such a thing as 'Pro Natal Classes'?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maha View Post
    Is there such a thing as 'Pro Natal Classes'?
    they call it parenthood i believe

    Had to wait til the birth of my 4th to see the missus pooing herself... still, i got my stored up mileage out of it
    I didn't think!!! I experimented!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by mashman View Post
    they call it parenthood i believe

    Had to wait til the birth of my 4th to see the missus pooing herself... still, i got my stored up mileage out of it
    Ah right, see I thought that 'Ante Natal Classes' was a Night School thing where you go and protest against a South African Provence.

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    Feel free to come along to the classes if you're like Alan from "Two and a Half Men" and like the preggy chicks !!!


    "...you meet the weirdest people riding a Guzzi !!..."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maha View Post
    Ah right, see I thought that 'Ante Natal Classes' was a Night School thing where you go and protest against a South African Provence.
    In acronym only!!! but apparantly you can by baby parts there!!!

    And not just a horny Charlie...
    I didn't think!!! I experimented!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by nudemetalz View Post
    Soooo.....I'm going to receive a 7lb baby kid and a 5lb baby turd !!!!
    HTFU and get used to it

    That baby's going to deliver you a whole more than just one turd...
    =mjc=
    .

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    Quote Originally Posted by nudemetalz View Post
    Soooo.....I'm going to receive a 7lb baby kid and a 5lb baby turd !!!!
    Niiiice.....

    Maybe not!! Did they also explain that for a few days prior/up to going in labour that some women have to poo constantly? Its the bodies way of preparing for labour (crapping until there is nothing left).

    Out of everyone my son was the one who passed a turd before he'd even come out (he was stressed from the labour being to fast). So I can already claim he's officially a little shit head.


    How much longer to go now? Goodluck with the antenatal classes (I avoided them both times).

    Can't wait to see pics of the bub when he/she arrives

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    Drugs

    The missus has had two kids , the first she was all natural and touchy feely ...the second

    Drugs ...lots of em

    oh and dont worry if you dont love the little shitting machine for a few months they do grow on you

    My littlest had his first hangover the other morning,,,Daddy was so proud

    the little shyt was unknown to us , drinking people wine from the table ,,, he had three glasses before someone noticed !

    Stephen
    "Look, Madame, where we live, look how we live ... look at the life we have...The Republic has forgotten us."

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    Quote Originally Posted by nudemetalz View Post
    What the mid-wife tutor also said though...and this was the scary part....is that with all of the pushing going on, Mum's bowels can let loose.
    Harden up, and all that. and all that...
    It's a huge experience - the most scary, exciting, emotional, thrilling, boring (two of ours were over 24 hours long) time. Just be thankful you don't have to be the one giving birth!
    Be grateful too that you're allowed to be part of this experience; in the 'old days' men were excluded, and 'they' are currently looking at returning to that way of doing things.

    The thing that really got me with the first was that they have all these fancy machines and technology to help, but in the end it's still very primitive, messy and basic. Our first one they used the Ventouse cap - kinda freaky seeing this stainless steel thing with a big chain and handle - looked like summat out of Marquis de Sade's chambers. Second was forceps - they're not much better.
    ... and that's what I think.

    Or summat.


    Or maybe not...

    Dunno really....


  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by jim.cox View Post
    HTFU and get used to it

    That baby's going to deliver you a whole more than just one turd...
    ha ha,...when I say baby turd, I mean from Mummy....but you're right, I will need to HTFU.

    And yes (clean) pics when bubs comes is born, the future Guzzi rider it will be


    "...you meet the weirdest people riding a Guzzi !!..."

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    Haha yeah the turd bit grossed me out too but it all depends on how long the labour is - ie if they've got a bit of time before the baby comes out then they can go to the toilet, and you're all good :-)
    Congrats anyway:-)

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    My mum said when she had me it felt like she was having a big shit, and I've been a little shit ever since.

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    Quote Originally Posted by nudemetalz View Post
    ...and this was the scary part....is that with all of the pushing going on, Mum's bowels can let loose.
    Soooo.....I'm going to receive a 7lb baby kid and a 5lb baby turd !!!!
    Niiiice.....
    For god's sake don't get them mixed up!
    DUCATI ------- A real bike in a sea of shit!

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