Sometime this year, we taxpayers may receive an Economic Stimulus payment.
This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. No, it's the Governments money since you gave it to them anyway.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set,
 thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the New Zealand economy
by spending your stimulus check wisely:
* If you spend the stimulus money at The Warehouse, the money will go to China .
* If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs..
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
* If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or South Korea .
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to
 management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in New Zealand by:

Going to a Rugby game, or
spending it on prostitutes, or
beer or tattoos..

(These are the only New Zealand owned businesses still operating in New Zealand .)

 I'm going to a Rugby game with a prostitute that I met at a
tattoo parlour and we're going to drink beer all day!