Harley rider pre-ride check list

[Bren]

Harley rider pre-ride check off list:


1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the 'Live to ride-ride to live' statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the 'I'm a bad *** motherf'er' harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badarsses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some 'chapter' like: North chapter of pig f'ing obese attention ***** douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up to store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of chit down the road.

[cave weta]

Hey Man- 92% of all Harleys ever made are still on the road- did you know that!?
The rest made it home.

[Laxi]

did a harley rider not wave to you today?

[Bren]

did a harley rider not wave to you today?

Do they ever?

[Flip]

You know I always wondered what the F was for in GSX750F, I guess we all know now.

Me thinks you protest too much, you are not thinking about getting a Harley are you?

[McJim]

Ducati riders check list:

1/ Credit card
2/ Condoms

What else do I need?

[Bren]

You know I always wondered what the F was for in GSX750F, I guess we all know now.

Me thinks you protest too much, you are not thinking about getting a Harley are you?

I like some harleys....would happily ride a V Rod....

[StoneY]

Add bike tyre pump to the list Jim, that fuckin visa card didnt help me at all today when the air all went to the top of my tyre

[Elysium]

Wasn't there a similier checklist for the Honda Goldwing?

[McJim]

Add bike tyre pump to the list Jim, that fuckin visa card didnt help me at all today when the air all went to the top of my tyre

I have one of those aerosol pressurised thingumies under my seat at all times. Gives the tyre enough latex and air to get me as far as the nearest petrol station....unless the tyre gets ripped and well...if that happened you'd be donald ducked anyway eh?

[Kickaha]

Add bike tyre pump to the list Jim, that fuckin visa card didnt help me at all today when the air all went to the top of my tyre

That's cause you got one of them funny Duclatterys with belt drive cam thingys instead of a real one with bevel gears

[BikerDazz]

Harley rider pre-ride check off list:


1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the 'Live to ride-ride to live' statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the 'I'm a bad *** motherf'er' harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badarsses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some 'chapter' like: North chapter of pig f'ing obese attention ***** douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up to store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of chit down the road.

Hey man, there's nothing like a trim chai latte from starbucks!

[marigami]

Well done indeed!
I am sure this is because Bren actually loves Harley lol

[Laxi]

Do they ever?

yeah, when they're waving down the recovery vehicle

[SARGE]

Ducati riders check list:

1/ Credit card
2/ Condoms

What else do I need?

earmuffs and a girlfriend apparently