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Thread: Women's favourite e-mail of the year...

  1. #1
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    Angry Women's favourite e-mail of the year...

    I had to do it, Sniper, you made me!

    A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

    "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."

    God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

    The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

    He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping.

    Then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the checkbook.

    He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

    Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

    Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.

    Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organised to do their homework. Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

    At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

    After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

    The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

    The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

  2. #2
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    ouch.....
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  3. #3
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    Beemer]I had to do it, , you made me! couldnt resist ,,,,sorry ...

    A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

    "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."

    God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

    The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

    He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate,( he can get his own breakfast cant be that difficult to make coffee awakened the kids,( little baskets get far to early ) set out their school clothes,( same ones as yesterday on the floor where you left them,,) fed them breakfast, packed their lunches,( 3 dollars in each pocket ,,, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners Drop the cleaning off aon the way back from the school......and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping.( internet shopping and banking ...( deposits made on the way back from the pub in the arvo ,,,)

    Then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the checkbook.( dump the whole lot in the deep freeze till come back from pub ) ..balance the checkbook at the pub to see if you can afford another beer)

    He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.Empty on compost heap the hose both down with hose ... ( in winter do both it in the bath after you have washed the sheets ,,just add powder and stir,,its the powder that does the work,,,,throw in spin cycle ,,,not the dog ...some agencys get upset ...)

    Then it was already 1 P.M( 3 pm the superbikes were replayed on sky sports ,,,,.) and he hurried to make the beds( pull duvet up to pillow.).., do the laundry,( rescue stuff in spin dryer) ... vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. ( use the carpet washer thingy attachment for both ,,, for both ,,,it will be dry by the time you get back )

    Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.( stuff ,,kids I fogot about them ...still I can pick up some beer on the way back)

    Set out milk and cookies ( rot there teeth ,,,they can have a class of water ,,and got the kids organised to do their homework.( did the teacher give you any homework ,,,,NO dad ,,keep quiet then I am watching tv ...) Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. thats cool ...I can stand the beer on the end of the Ironing board ,,,,

    At 4.30...( 5.15 ...and its sheaprds pie and salad again ..take me all of 10 min ) he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. ( I drink tui ,,,yeah right )

    After supper, he cleaned the kitchen,( kids do those dishes .)...... ran the dishwasher,...here doggy dinner time ..... folded laundry,( it come folded and ironed from the dy cleaning shop ,,and its cheap to ,,,, bathed the kids, and put them to bed( bit of a tide mark ,,but the boys didnt seem to mind ,,,) . At 9 P.M. he was exhausted( no just a bit of a headache ,,,must of been that tuis I was drinking ,,, and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.( never complained yet ,,,,,


    You see its all about time management .....(

    Stuff ...fogot the Bank and the supermarket stuff is still in the deep freeze ,,,hope that bottle of will will be ok till the morning

    Just better check to see if she who must be obeyed is asleep ,,before i post this ,,,

    Kind regards

    Stephen

    Champion ...of the Floor ( Tm ) ...the worlds biggest Laundry basket....
    Last edited by Brian d marge; 23rd August 2005 at 02:34. Reason: fogot to empy the water out after dog
    "Look, Madame, where we live, look how we live ... look at the life we have...The Republic has forgotten us."

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beemer
    I had to do it, Sniper, you made me!

    A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

    "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."

    God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

    The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

    He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping.

    Then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the checkbook.

    He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

    Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

    Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.

    Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organised to do their homework. Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

    At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

    After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

    The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

    The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.
    hahahah!!! very good
    I'm not a complete idiot... some pieces are missing

    Quote Originally Posted by DingDong
    "Hi... I rang about the cats you have for sale..."..... "oh... you have children.... how much for the children?"

    mucho papoosa bueno no panocha

  5. #5
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    Yep.. good one brian d'marge... got a chuckle outta me =)
    You can't fight sleep.. if you feel tired, stop and rest!

  6. #6
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    The Ex-Girlfriend



    I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other
    day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used
    to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd like
    to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic.



    "Wow!" I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now. I'm
    a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!"



    She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge!



    "Yeah," I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a
    waistband that's a few inches wider these days!"



    She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me,
    saying that she thought tubby bald men were cute!



    "Anyway, I've put on a couple of pounds myself," she giggled.



    So I told her to fuck off and I hung up.

    Om nom nom.

  7. #7
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    1st August 2005 - 20:26
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    eek Womens favourite e-mail of the year....

    A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed
    home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

    "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8-hours while my wife merely stays
    at home I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch
    with mine for a day".~Amen~

    God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

    The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked
    breakfast for his mate,awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast,
    packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning,
    took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping,
    then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the checkbook.
    He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

    Then it was already 1:00 PM and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry vacuum, dust,
    and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

    Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.
    Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to dotheir homework, then set up the
    ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes
    and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

    After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher,folded laundry,bathed the kids,
    and put them to bed.

    At 9:00 PM, he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed
    where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

    The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt down beside the bed and said:

    "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking ... I was so wrong To envy my wife's being able to
    stay home all day. Please ...Oh please, let us trade back !!!"

    The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:

    "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to
    the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though.
    You got pregnant last night."

    This Was Voted Women's Favorite E-mail of the Year !!!
    Feisty by name Feisty by nature...

  8. #8
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    Yeah right! This is regular daily chores.
    Speed doesn't kill people.
    Stupidity kills people.

  9. #9
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    Didn't you post this up soon after you joined this site?

  10. #10
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    Voted Women's Favourite Chain Email of all time (Propoganda)

    Amazing!

    Mods consider a 4 year Jokes and humour to be a repost.

    2 years is about the norm to recycle.

    Some may not have read them 4 years ago or may have forgotten them.

  11. #11
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    Doesn't it make you wonder how us wonderfully busy women manage to fit work into our busy schedule as well....................

    Stuff the housework, there's a motorcycle in the shed that needs a ride................

  12. #12
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    Yea but he was not a real woman. He did not have a headach.


    Skyryder
    Free Scott Watson.

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