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Thread: I'll let you decide if they are real

  1. #1
    Join Date
    4th July 2005 - 15:58
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    Apriliaaah!
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    I'll let you decide if they are real

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
    Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown
    house on the corner.
    Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
    Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?


    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
    Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
    Dispatcher: Excuse me?
    Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen
    table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
    Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
    Caller:! No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and
    tired of it!


    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
    Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
    Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
    Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
    Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same
    thing.
    Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.


    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
    Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
    minutes apart
    Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
    Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

    And the winner is..........

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1
    Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.
    Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
    Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
    Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
    Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
    Caller: No
    Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
    Caller: Running from the Police.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    13th January 2005 - 11:00
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    fire breathin ginja ninja
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    7th November 2004 - 11:00
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    Aquired by locals
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    LOL at the last one
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  4. #4
    Join Date
    24th June 2004 - 17:27
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    So old you won't care
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    It was once my job to monitor 111 trunks... This just sounds like a normal evening..

  5. #5
    Join Date
    14th August 2005 - 21:00
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    Somewhere in Christchurch
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    492

    Brilliant

    Nice to see I am not the only one that gets these

  6. #6
    Join Date
    20th November 2002 - 11:00
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    I don't get the joke...

  7. #7
    Join Date
    15th January 2005 - 11:00
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    Haha. Now they were good

    Peace hath higher tests of manhood

    than battle ever knew.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    18th December 2004 - 08:09
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    Smile Smile for today! 911 calls

    These are REAL 911 Calls!



    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

    Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.

    Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

    Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?



    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

    Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.

    Dispatcher: Excuse me?

    Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

    Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?

    Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!



    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?

    Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.

    Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

    Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one

    Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.

    Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.



    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?

    Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart

    Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

    Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

    And the winner is..........

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1

    Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.

    Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.

    Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?

    Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.

    Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

    Caller: No

    Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?

    Caller: Running from the Police.

    "If you can't laugh at yourself, you're just not paying attention!"
    "There is no limit to dumb."

    "Resolve to live with all your might while you do live, and as you shall wish you had done ten thousand years hence."

  9. #9
    Join Date
    29th October 2005 - 16:12
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    Heard some of these, but they're good!
    You don't get to be an old dog without learning a few tricks.
    Shorai Powersports batteries are very trick!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    21st May 2009 - 17:32
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    still lookin for therapy
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    BELIEVE it or not

    BELIEVE it or not , these are REAL 911 Calls!

    Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
    Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on
    the corner.
    Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
    Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?


    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
    Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and
    cheese sandwich
    Dispatcher : Excuse me?
    Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table
    and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of
    it.
    Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
    Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of
    it!


    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
    Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an
    eleven on it.
    Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
    Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one.
    Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
    Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

    My Personal Favorite !!!
    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
    Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes
    apart.
    Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
    Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

    And the winner is ...

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1
    Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.

    Darn .. I think I'm going to pass out.
    Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
    Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
    Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
    Caller: No
    Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble
    breathing?
    Caller: Running from the Police.
    WISDOM IS KNOWING KARMA REALLY CAN'T GET YOU.

    SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER

    DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    21st May 2005 - 21:12
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    2020 ls650 boulevard
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    new plymouth
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    3,718
    that sandwich one reminds me of the sealord tuna or whatever ad with the guy that eats his neighbours sandwich and then jumps over the fence. lol.
    my blog: http://sunsthomasandfriends.weebly.com/index.html

    the really happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery when on a detour.

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