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Thread: Scooter Twat

  1. #1
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    Scooter Twat

    Unbelievable…

    Now, I don’t have a problem with scooterists (is that right..??) as my fantastic missus is one, but this particular twat….

    In the company cage pissing around in town in today’s great sunshine, wishing I was on me bike, but anyway…

    At the lights on Custom Street when I hear a thud in the back of my car. Look behind me and there is some guy on a scooter who has just gone up the back of my car. No damage I’m picking, would have done him more harm than me.

    Then, he scoots around the car, comes up alongside my drivers side and……THWACK….hits the wing mirror.

    “Oi,” I says, “take it easy mate” to which he muttered some kind of expletive regarding my mothers relationship with an African goat herder or something (which is a lie, the goat herder was from Iran, but who’s counting).

    “Go get yourself fucked mate” was my reply and then I noticed the blokes footwear, or lack of it…check it out.

    Yes my dears, this twat was hooning around Auckland CBD on a beaten up old Vespa banging into cars wearing a pair of worn out jandals…what a complete dickhead…plays right into the hands of people who want all two wheeled motorised transport off the road.

    Lights went green straight after and he took off, just missing another car…..dickhead…

    Managed to snap him on my cellphone, check his protective footwear…in fact, looks like the bloke was wearing high heels but they are jandals my lovelies...
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  2. #2
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    That intersection is deceptivly narrow though, but I've never hit a wing mirror
    Quote Originally Posted by nodrog View Post
    you dont get 180+ hp out of 998cc by being nice to trees.

  3. #3
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    Should have got out and pushed him off.
    KiwiBitcher
    where opinion holds more weight than fact.

    It's better to not pass and know that you could have than to pass and find out that you can't. Wait for the straight.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hiflyer View Post
    That intersection is deceptivly narrow though, but I've never hit a wing mirror
    I think this situation is more down to the riding skills of this particular dude, which I would liken to, for example, myself trying to perform an figure skating routine

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    I think this situation is more down to the riding skills of this particular dude, which I would liken to, for example, myself trying to perform an figure skating routine
    Yea I admit you've gotta be pretty distacted or completely blind to hit the back of a car infront of you...

    EDIT - using your phone while driving. tisk tisk
    Quote Originally Posted by nodrog View Post
    you dont get 180+ hp out of 998cc by being nice to trees.

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    Fattmax, I've been here all my life and I haven't had nearly as many entertaining scenarios on the roads...

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hiflyer View Post
    EDIT - using your phone while driving. tisk tisk
    Yep, fair cop mate. I was stationary at a red light blah blah blah, but I accept that one.

    Mind you, I did have to put my beer down to take the picture which meant I dropped the big joint I had just rolled into may lap spilling it onto the line of coke I had just chopped which is all over the floor now, I had to get the three hookers in tha back to use the stolen vaccum cleaner to clean it up.

    cut me some slack occifer....

    Tell you what, I'll take it on all of my chins, how about that..!

  8. #8
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    Dam, all your chins! or you could say you were a passenger in a lefty drive
    Quote Originally Posted by nodrog View Post
    you dont get 180+ hp out of 998cc by being nice to trees.

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    Good old island safety boots! Nice. What a twat he was??? Couldn't stop in time and its your fault??? I'd have shoved that vespa so far up his backside!
    Exert your talents, and distinguish yourself, and don't think of retiring from the world, until the world will be sorry that you retire. -Samuel Johnson


  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by wbks View Post
    Fattmax, I've been here all my life and I haven't had nearly as many entertaining scenarios on the roads...
    Put on some weight, get yourself a bad methane emmitting habit and support Tottenham....

    Did you do eet...

    Now we wait........

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    Quote Originally Posted by Insanity_rules View Post
    Good old island safety boots! Nice. What a twat he was??? Couldn't stop in time and its your fault??? I'd have shoved that vespa so far up his backside!
    Not quite my thoughts, but not far off...anybody that can't see past their nose...and then blames the car in front needs a right ear full!

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    Put on some weight, get yourself a bad methane emmitting habit and support Tottenham....

    Did you do eet...

    Now we wait........
    Now there's a new years resolution!

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    Put on some weight
    Did you do eet.
    I think wbks is a 'little' head of the class in that department teheee jj.

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    Not quite in the same class, Max, but I saw a young lassie on a scooter last week, with her DOG sitting between her feet on the scoot...they stopped up by the park and she took the dog for a run around...dog seemed quite happy on the scoot...actually, come to think of it, the dog could prolly ride better than your man...
    . “No pleasure is worth giving up for two more years in a rest home.” Kingsley Amis

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dean View Post
    I think wbks is a 'little' head of the class in that department teheee jj.
    oh you're funny... When are you coming to corro so you can school me on your zeal, funny guy?

    Quote Originally Posted by slofox View Post
    Not quite in the same class, Max, but I saw a young lassie on a scooter last week, with her DOG sitting between her feet on the scoot...they stopped up by the park and she took the dog for a run around...dog seemed quite happy on the scoot...actually, come to think of it, the dog could prolly ride better than your man...
    lol, it's like the kiwi version of the aussie dude with a sheep on the bike

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