If you go down to the woods today you're sure of a big surprise!
I've taken to walking the dog in a local forest recently. Normally the little runt wont leave my side, constantly begging for me to throw stones and stuff but once in a while she'll take off to investigate a noise or a smell that are beyond my senses and it usually ends up being interesting, so occasionally, if I can be arsed, I give chase.
A couple of days ago, from the corner of my eye I spotted a large furry thing dart behind the bushes, the dog went to investigate but it came to nothing, don't know what it was but it was a big thing and fast, maybees a wild pig/boar thing.
Anyway, in roughly the same area Today, the hound of the dopeyvilles shot off into the bush and in light of recent events I thought it was worth a looksee so I followed sharpish.
She started wagging her tail as she ducked behind some cover and there was suddenly a lot of commotion so I had a bit of a panic thinking she'd found the aforementioned mysterious beast and it was to big a job for a stupid old staffy.
I don't shock easily but when the largish woman shot up resplendent in a party frock hoist above her hips with one rather large naked breast winking at me I thought aye aye, this isn't yer normal occurrence at 7.30 am on a Tuesday morning dog walk.
"Good morning" I said, as casual as I could, "How are you" she said, like she really gave a toss as she hastily tried to put the wayward mammary back in it's holster. I shouted at the jumping dog so we could do a discreet exit stage left just as an equally well dressed but dishevelled fellah stood up with a bed roll under his arm, head down in extreme embarrassment, he grunted at me and pointed out a track to his lady like they were just out for a tramp and had suddenly found the track they were looking for. They marched off at double speed with Grass falling from the bed roll and their hair, with her chuckling and adjusting her dress and him just glaring at the ground wishing it would open up and swallow him.
Funny as fuck but funnier still was, I know this forest pretty well, the track they had shot down so hastily in their embarrassment, was one of many circular mountain bike tracks. As I stood there with tears rolling down my face they appeared and disappeared periodically behind the trees at break neck speed looking for an exit that would relieve them of this horror but all the time they were headed for the exact same spot they had left a few moments before, the exact same spot me and the dog were in
As they broke the cover of the trees she burst out laughing and he went oh fer fucks sake, I swear even the dog was laughing as they hastily took another track towards salvation. Fucking marvellous fun, I'm still laughing now, hours after the event.
Totally true, you may even know them, they were in a light blue metallic BMW heading south from New Plymouth at about 200kph when I last saw them.
Hope you all have a Happy and fun filled Xmas, mines off to a good start
Oh bugger
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Originally Posted by Dean
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