Mormon Missionaries

[Mom]

Years ago, and I mean 25 at least ago, Warkworth used to be the place for the clean cut, black suit, white shirt, short back and sides, white boy, American Mormon young man to serve his time away from home. Manys the time I turned these earnest young men away from my door at food cooking time. They always took my thanks but no thanks response in good heart and went along their merry way. Have not seen them for donkeys years until just recently. Saw a couple of black suit/white shirt bicycle pushing blokes from afar a couple of weeks ago and smiled to myself remembering way back when.

It appears though the tactics have changed

For some mad reason, I have taken up a health kick that will lower my blood pressure apparently, keep my weight in check and with any luck extend my life expectancy. I am hoping I will also regain my singing voice Dreams are free

So, I am out for a walk tonight, not a big one this time, I have a bit of tightness behind my right knee and dont want to push my luck. I am off crutches and intend to remain that way. So just a gentle stroll with a smallish hill towards the end chucked in for aerobic content.

Pump, pump, pump it up Well something like that anyway.

We get accosted by this earnest young man. White shirt, black pants, black tie, nice shoulder bag and a badge proudly proclaiming himself a member of the Church of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints. Excellent. Just as I am pumped I get stopped by this really keen kid with the smile to die for. Thanks mate, but not interested. Nope that did not do it. Ok, so lets try, no we cant stop at the moment. Nope, he was dead keen to get us interested in Jesus Christ. Sorry not for us mate! Ok, so now we ignore him and really pump it up! He keeps coming at us. So very tempting to tell him to "Eff Off" Spelled out of course. E F F O F F!

Interesting observation. He had a mate. He also was accosting walkers, not door knocking. If you were sad enough to be out walking, or even out in your garden (as the poor woman on our return walk discovered) you were fair game. They were also being driven around in what looked like a Nissan Skyline, no bicycles in sight.

So how do you get rid of these over zealous God bothering zealots that accost you when you are out and about, walking of an evening, minding your own business.

Very annoying.

[SMOKEU]

We used to have the same problem when we lived in Africa, they quickly learn which people they can and can't convert to their terrorist organization. I mean religion.

[sunhuntin]

i wouldnt hesitate in a good, loud "fuck off" if my first two "not interesteds" were ignored. i get sick of having religious stuff forced down my throat. i bet if i were a devil worshiper, i would soon get in trouble for speaking about whatever beliefs i might have. besides, if i wanted to be saved, theres something like 7 churches within a 20 min walk of my house... i certainly dont need any assitance in finding one.

its strange... weve lived here since about 2002 and not had a single bible basher. we live facing the street, like most houses. previously, we lived up a long driveway out of street view. we got door knockers a plenty. weird.

another interesting point from a few years ago when i was in high school. the local bridge, which i crossed to and from school, had a large slogan painted on the cycle track. it said "your god is dead." a few days later, a reply was added, something like god is alive. the god is dead one was painted over by the council, while the other was permitted to stay until it wore off. both were graffiti, both were defacing a local icon. i thought it was stupid to cover over one and not the other. double standards.

[Mom]

We used to have the same problem when we lived in Africa, they quickly learn which people they can and can't convert to their terrorist organization. I mean religion.

Yeah, I dont have a problem with these people as a rule, most come to you, offer up what they have and move on happily when you say not interested. Even the ones that accost you when you are walking down the road at lunchtime go away when you say no thanks.

This young wanker would not go away, he accosted us of an evening while we were walking along relaxing. He got distinctly told 3 or 4 times politely that we were not interested. So tempting to be incredibly disrespectful

[Mom]

i we got door knockers a plenty. weird.

Door knockers are one thing, easy as to get rid of them, and they go.

This kid simply would not go! I was so tempted I can tell you.

[EJK]

I was wondering if the Hamilton crew were knocking doors on their bikes.

[Big Dave]

Well one way was I employed them.
I ran the basketball competitions at the YMCA for years before moving to NZ.
We had a deal with the 'elders' that if they left their preaching at the door, I would sign off on four hours of community service (also part of their gig) if they kept score or refereed the kids games.
They were cool to take some time off and I got slave labour.

[Mom]

Well one way was I employed them.
I ran the basketball competitions at the YMCA for years before moving to NZ.
We had a deal with the 'elders' that if they left their preaching at the door, I would sign off on four hours of community service (also part of their gig) if they kept score or refereed the kids games.
They were cool to take some time off and I got slave labour.

I have had the pleasure of being hosted by a Mormon family at Brigham Young University Campus back in the day. I dont have a problem with what they do, I just hate being harrassed when I am out of an evening having a stroll. Go away should only need to be said once.

Hmmmm, do they do gardens do you think? Mine is looking very scruffy

[R6_kid:Me]

"Sorry, I'm an atheist" usually works for me.

[allycatz]

"Sorry, I'm an atheist" usually works for me.

I tried that once and was worst thing I ever did...it was like they adopted me as their personal challenge and they kept coming back week after week. I had to get quite rude to them in the end

[Fatt Max]

Never really had a problem with them here but they were all over our place when we were in the UK.

Now, I appreciate that they are spreading the word and truly believe in what they do and that is fine. But sometimes it gets a bit much.

As Mom said, door knockers are easily got rid off, just shut the door and they will go away. Trouble is, if you get acosted in the street it is a very different story. These people know the rules about touching equalling assault so pushing them away will never help. If you have asked poliitley 3 - 4 times for them to go away then you are left with no choice but to give them a good, hard 'Fudk Off' right in the mush.

My mum sent them running from her one day, she threatened to go to their church with the local papers and formally complain about their behaviour in public. These days I would be tempted to pull out the cellphone and ask the guy for the number of has Pastor or whatever they call him because you want to lodge a formal complaint. That might work.

Otherwise, tell them that you are phoning me and I am on my way to his house naked to perform an amusing dance with a pie, a small lizzard and three chickens.....reckon he will fair shit himself....

[Pussy]

The scene..... 4 oclock on a Sunday morning. Knock knock at the door. Blearily eyed get up and answer the door. Two immaculately dressed young gentlemen there. "Good morning, M'am, we're from the Church of Jesus Christ of the latter day saints...".
"4 o'clock in the morning on a Sunday? You mormons ought to be bloody well hung!"


"Yes, M'am, we are......"

[Fatt Max]

"Sorry, I'm an atheist" usually works for me.

"Sorry, I'm an Arsenal Supporter" would have the same effect if it was me hassling you in the street

[Fatt Max]

Could always retort with something like "Hey, yeah, love your church. But why dont you try mine. We are the Temple of the Wise Rubber Butt Plug and we love young guys like you. You are always keen, enthusiastic, devoted, tight........

[Fatt Max]

The scene..... 4 oclock on a Sunday morning. Knock knock at the door. Blearily eyed get up and answer the door. Two immaculately dressed young gentlemen there. "Good morning, M'am, we're from the Church of Jesus Christ of the latter day saints...".
"4 o'clock in the morning on a Sunday? You mormons ought to be bloody well hung!"


"Yes, M'am, we are......"

LOL,

I had some churchy people knocking on my door asking for any spare clothing for the starving in Africa. I told them that any African who can fit into my clothes aint fucking hungry......