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Thread: For thieving

  1. #1
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    For thieving

    check this ,made me giggle











    AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

    To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

    Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.

    I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

    First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The even ing was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

    I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

    After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

    I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

    I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

    Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

    The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

    ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!

    Thoughtfully yours,

    Alex
    I fear the day technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots! ALBERT EINSTEIN

  2. #2
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    What a dipstick...taking a knife to a gun fight....

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by LBD View Post
    What a dipstick...taking a knife to a gun fight....
    Rookie mistake alright!

  4. #4
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    So the cops will talk to the mugger after following up on at least one of these infringements, at which point the story will come out, and hopefully the ad will be noticed too ... and with any luck they can trace the prick through Craigs List.

    Yes the mugger was a criminal and perhaps got what he deserved ... but the car owner was innocent, along with a whole bunch of other victims, and a lot of police time was wasted.

    Unless of course the ad was just a windup for the mugger, and most of the rest of it never really happened. Or none of it happened, of course.

    Richard

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by rwh View Post
    So the cops will talk to the mugger after following up on at least one of these infringements, at which point the story will come out, and hopefully the ad will be noticed too ... and with any luck they can trace the prick through Craigs List.

    Yes the mugger was a criminal and perhaps got what he deserved ... but the car owner was innocent, along with a whole bunch of other victims, and a lot of police time was wasted.

    Unless of course the ad was just a windup for the mugger, and most of the rest of it never really happened. Or none of it happened, of course.

    Richard
    Well I take it this happened in USA so doubt too much will happen with this guy as they're not analy PC like we are.
    As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death
    Γύρος στη νίκη

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jizah View Post
    Rookie mistake alright!
    Made 2 IMO

  7. #7
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    Most likely just an internet bullshit story...
    It is preferential to refrain from the utilisation of grandiose verbiage in the circumstance that your intellectualisation can be expressed using comparatively simplistic lexicological entities. (...such as the word fuck.)

    Remember your humanity, and forget the rest. - Joseph Rotblat

  8. #8
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    cool story though, nonetheless


    "...you meet the weirdest people riding a Guzzi !!..."

  9. #9
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    Doesn't this make you feel like cheering?

    Removed post. - Sorry, brain fart - not sure what happened there!
    Last edited by spajohn; 16th April 2010 at 08:45. Reason: Removed post. - Sorry, brain fart - not sure what happened there!
    "And if I claim to be a wise man, It surely means that I don't know"

  10. #10
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    Great way to start the day, thanks. As they say the pen is mightier than the sword and I guess him using his brain was far more rewarding than using violence and possible jail time.
    We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
    Running over the same old ground.
    What have you found? The same old fears.
    Wish you were here. QWQ

  11. #11
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    Brilliant! Enjoyed that very much. Great story.

  12. #12
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    This sort of thing should happen to all burglars, robbers and thieves!

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toaster View Post
    This sort of thing should happen to all burglars, robbers and thieves!
    Anything that helps empty the shallow end of the gene pool

  14. #14
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    ha ha ha haaaaa... joke or not... good on the poster (i hope it's true)
    I didn't think!!! I experimented!!!

  15. #15
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    Firstly: Repost.
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

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