Blondes!!

**SpeedyGirl** · 13th December 2005, 08:36

Just because I can...and I am blonde!!!

Blonde's year under review

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M &M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 ½ days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

What a year!!

**Sniper** · 13th December 2005, 08:40

Hahahahah, Im not saying anything

**Wolf** · 13th December 2005, 09:56

Originally Posted by SpeedyGirl

October - Hate M &M's.....they are so hard to peel.

Surely she means "E, M, 3 & W's"

**DMNTD:Me** · 13th December 2005, 10:01

Originally Posted by SpeedyGirl

...October - Hate M &M's.....they are so hard to peel...

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Because she threw out all the W's

**Wolf** · 13th December 2005, 10:15

Originally Posted by TL Rider

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Because she threw out all the W's

the E's and the 3's as well...

**Wolf** · 13th December 2005, 10:18

Blonde rings 111 and asks for the fire service, says to the bloke "My house is on fire, come quickly before it's burned to the ground and I lose everything."

The bloke says "Sure how do we get to your house?"

The Blonde says "Helllllooooo!! In the fucking big red truck!"

**SpeedyGirl** · 13th December 2005, 10:51

An Aussie walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:

"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."

His girlfriend lying in bed replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, dickhead."

The man replies: "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."

**Goblin** · 13th December 2005, 11:31

Why did the blonde put breadcrumbs in her undies?

To feed the thrush

A blonde goes into a shop that sells curtians. She tells the salesman "I'd like to buy a pink curtian in the size of my computer screen." The surprised salesman replies " But madam, computers dont have curtians." And the blonde said "Helloooooo.... I've got Windows!!!!!!!!!!!!"

**NINJA GIRL** · 13th December 2005, 12:16

HA HA

DO YOU KNOW WHY BLONDE JOKES ARE SO STUPID???

SO DUMB BRUNETTES CAN REMEMBER THEM !!

HA HA

**Wolf** · 13th December 2005, 12:58

Originally Posted by NINJA GIRL

HA HA

DO YOU KNOW WHY BLONDE JOKES ARE SO STUPID???

SO DUMB BRUNETTES CAN REMEMBER THEM !!

HA HA

I though it was so men could understand them - learn something new every day, I suppose

**crazyhorse** · 28th January 2010, 06:00

Two blonde girls were working
for the city public works department.
One would dig a hole and the other would follow
behind her and fill the hole in.

They worked up one side of the street,
then down the other, then moved on to the next
street, working furiously all day without rest,
one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but
couldn't understand what they were doing.
So he asked the hole digger,
'I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting
into your work, but I don't get it --
why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow
behind and fill it up again?'

The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed,
'Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're
normally a three-person team.

But today, the girl who plants the trees called in sick.'

**Genie** · 28th January 2010, 06:46

I liek that one...thanks. Nothing quite like an early morning Blonde Joke.

My favourite is the one where the blonde is at the hairdressers wearing earphones. The hairdresser removes them to cut her hair and she drops dead. Hairdresser listens to what she was listening too.....Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out......