New Zealand Mums

[CookMySock]

One day, stand in the supermarket (or anywhere) and just look at people. Picture that they have feelings just like you. Some of their feelings are insurmountably large, just like some of yours. Some of these feelings are also irreconcilable, leading to massive stress levels, just like some of yours. Sometimes, their feelings consist of great joys, and they aren't at all interested in hearing about your or my horrible problems.

People aren't products of our thinking - they are products of their own thinking. Crazy isn't it? No one is on the same wavelength as us!

Steve

[Slyer]

He's getting more at the fact that people seem to be having children so early, why don't they wait a bit longer so that they can experience the rest of the world before settling down? This is especially true for the lower earners.
Waiting till your late 20's or later before having kids is excessively logical to me but we must remember that we are built to breed.
Just like men are programmed to want sex all the time, women are programmed to want babies all the time. It's a good, evolutionary trait. Stops us going extinct.
There's your answer.

How old are you and your missus GOONR?

Nice troll, btw.

[Dave Lobster]

women are programmed to want babies all the time.

Not all of them. Some of them have a life of their own.

Which is good. It means they've got something to talk about, other than their generic children. Which are, for the most part, of no interest to anyone but them.

[rachprice]

I don't want babies...ever
Im young and may change my mind (never say never) but right now I have a massive career ahead of me and just no desire to reproduce!

And my social life is pretty sweet

[SS90]

Yes, I think one or two people have jumped a little too hard on the original poster.

Sweeping generalisation? Yes

Accurate?

Equally so.

It very well documented that NZ has a disproportionate number of "solo Mum's", and, so much so that "solo mum", a Kiwi colloquialism, that eventually found it's way into the New Zealand official dictionary.

Basically, we invented our own word for it!

Now, it's also well known that the UK has a high teen pregnancy rate, but, per capita, NZ is higher.

The "sweeping generalisation", has become more of an accurate statement rather than simply a slight on our Nation.

It appears the original poster is not born in NZ (some what less than a year), perhaps it is wise to take this observation
seriously, and not simply dismissing it as "women" or "Kiwi", or (even worse), "Kiwi women" bashing.

I currently live in Europe, but I did spend the first 29 years of my life in NZ, and can relate to this persons observations, and, if you think objectively about it, every single Kiwi can as well.


The OP was not knocking "all Kiwi solo Mum's", but rather a section of the community, that, at a young age (early 20's) have secured themselves 18 years of income.

Which increases if they name the dad.

You can boohoo all you like, but deep down we all know it is true.

We have all seen (and perhaps even know) women who "make a career" from having kids, have never (and will never) have a job, their kids are dirty, poorly educated at home, yet the financial commitment the NZ taxpayer provides them, allows them to have new clothes, bleach for their hair, weed, fags, and "a few bottles of bubbly" in the fridge.

No, I'm sorry, the OP has simply pointed out what we least like to think about.

Crap Kiwi mums, who aren't even old enough the rent a car, and yet raise two kids.

There are plenty of good Kiwi mums, he never said there wasn't!

[oldrider]

Why are New Zealand women completely crazy in being "mums", willing to give up career and social life for kids? You see them on TV all the time, conservative perfect mums.

When you walk down the rows in New World or Countdown they are everywhere, screaming kids. Running around tipping tins and boxes, being let loose like dogs in a park. Some of them scream for 45min and the "mum" she just smiles and think everybody think her little angel is the best.

They are young (the mums), who supports them? I can impossible imagine a guy with a wage of 33K annually can support her and the two kids she already managed to produce on her vague 22yrs.

Because when you get right down to it, theres fuck all else in this world that comes even close!

[Slyer]

Not all of them. Some of them have a life of their own.

Which is good. It means they've got something to talk about, other than their generic children. Which are, for the most part, of no interest to anyone but them.

And not all guys want sex.
Many women, usually intelligent ones (Rach ) realize what a burden kids are and decide to postpone having them, perhaps indefinitely. This is because they are able to overcome their programming, or maybe their programming is corrupt?

I'm definitely against those solo mums out there that just get out there, have some sex and then pop a few kids out without securing any sort of long term income. They get on the dole.
Of course we(everyone else) want to support these little kids, it's not their fault that their mother is an inconsiderate bitch who desires to bring suffering upon children. Thank god we don't let that happen right?

Ladies. If you want kids get a man, get a good man who is going to support you. If this is hard, lose some weight or get a personality.
Failing that, get a great job so that you can either earn enough to pay for daycare on top of everything else or work part time from home. Ideally saving heavily beforehand.
If you cannot get either of these, DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN.
Bringing a new life into this world that you cannot support is evil. Pure and simple.

Having kids is a privilege, not a right.
The government pays for you not because we support your bad decisions but because we don't want kids starving to death.
Fuck up your own body or your own life but don't fuck up the lives of little kids. We need to break the cycle...

No Plan - No Baby.

[Love my Bonnie]

People always bag solo mums, it really pisses me off.
It takes two to make a baby, so why is no-one bagging the "sperm makers" who run for the hills when their girlfriends get pregnant?
Good on the young mums I say, raising kids on your own is HARD THANKLESS WORK!!!
A young solo mums love their kids no less that anyother mum.
& Yes, I am speaking from experence.

[Dave Lobster]

Is it harsh to say "If you can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em"?

[CookMySock]

People always bag solo mums, it really pisses me off.
It takes two to make a baby, so why is no-one bagging the "sperm makers" who run for the hills when their girlfriends get pregnant?
Good on the young mums I say, raising kids on your own is HARD THANKLESS WORK!!!
A young solo mums love their kids no less that anyother mum.
& Yes, I am speaking from experence.

Hrm, perhaps.

The bottom line is, it's their body and their life, and if they want to do that then it's their call. They can say no and they can use contraception, and if they don't want to do that, then they can eat the consequences - thats the way the world goes around and it's no ones' fault but their own. If they are not equipped to deal with said consequences, then that is their choice as well.

Sure, it's a piss off when the male does a runner, but it's pretty clear he didn't think that was part of the deal, and maybe to be fair it wasn't. Different story completely when it's discussed and it is emphatically part of some deal - then doing a runner is just a ripoff.

The main problem with any single parent family, is the whole kid training comes from only one perspective. It's not about who is right or wrong, it's about balance and having middle-of-the-road kids rather than ones with extremes - one way or the other.

Steve

[SS90]

I think that you may be taking it a little to personally,

Kiwi's generalise alot, (actually too much), and I will agree that I have heard the statement "Ah, bloody solo mum's" more than once.

However,

This is simply a poorly worded description of a TYPE of solo mum, opposed to "all" solo mum's.

How so?

Your bleach blonde (re-growth) "Chantel" with her 3 dirty clothed kids, baby in the pram..........actually, god, do I need to go on, you get the picture, and you would be lying if you said you had not seen a similar sight.

Mum's smoking, the kids look like they have worn the same clothes for 2 or 3 days.......these poor kids are simply caught in a trap that the likely hood of them escaping is fairly slim.

This is the "solo mum" that brings out the statement "ah bloody solo mums"

Yes, it is unfair that the majority? of solo mums are indeed living up to their responsibilties, however, we live in a world that such things go unrewarded, and we only see those squandering our resources.

Don't take it personally.

That term is uttered to identify a "type" of single mother, not all.

[Dave Lobster]

The bottom line is, it's their body and their life, and if they want to do that then it's their call.

That would be true if they weren't getting any handouts from the rest of us that live within our means.

Why SHOULD having children and being dependent on welfare be a lifestyle option?

[SS90]

That would be true if they weren't getting any handouts from the rest of us that live within our means.

Why SHOULD having children and being dependent on welfare be a lifestyle option?

Actually, on this I don't agree.

It's not only their body an dtheir lives they are messing with, it's the mind body and soul of the wee kids they have a clear inabilty to raise.

I'm 32, and I went to school with plenty of kids that where raised only by their mums.

I recon that it was about 60/40 (good mums, shit mums).

But, even then, 40% is too much. Hell, 1% is too much.

I sound idealsitic, but hey "think of the kids"

[GOONR]

Goonr has gone to work, but since I have an opinion about this and to answer your question Slyer, I turned 33 last week and Goonr is 40. But irrespective of our real age, he was asked for ID for booze on saturday and people often assume I am in my early 20's when infact I had my first child at 31. If I was plodding around the supermarket in my jeans and a t shirt would I be put in the bracket of low income earner, too young to have babies etc - quite possibly yes. When Infact I have had a career and will do so again once I have had my babes and Goonr earns more than enough. How fair is it to assume that the supermarket mums arent infact just like me and many other mums out there. We dont all have feral children, or bleach our hair. Its a sad fact that these people assume if you are at home with your kids you must bludge of the government or fall into a catgory of which people think you are at the low end of society. Waiting til you are older dosent mean you are safe from the fella running off, marriage break ups, redundancy, your partner passing away, there are a million reasons to find yourself either in the poo financially or without a Mum and Dads support. And Id think those situations make up a generous proportion of the single or no income families that require financial assistance. I know plenty of young Mums and a few solo Mums that do a bloody good job at raising their kids, and its not about having a dad, but family and support. As they say it takes a village to raise a child. Any fool can have a baby, being over a certain age dosent suddenly turn you into a wise old owl that knows how to do this parenting thing, its hard work. I bet youd struggle to find any Mum or Dad that knew exactly what they were in for when the made a decision to keep or plan a baby
People make choices based on the resources they have, unfortunately some people dont have too many options, but who the hell are we to point the finger at say thats not ok

[SS90]

Goonr has gone to work, but since I have an opinion about this and to answer your question Slyer, I turned 33 last week and Goonr is 40. But irrespective of our real age, he was asked for ID for booze on saturday and people often assume I am in my early 20's when infact I had my first child at 31. If I was plodding around the supermarket in my jeans and a t shirt would I be put in the bracket of low income earner, too young to have babies etc - quite possibly yes. When Infact I have had a career and will do so again once I have had my babes and Goonr earns more than enough. How fair is it to assume that the supermarket mums arent infact just like me and many other mums out there. We dont all have feral children, or bleach our hair. Its a sad fact that these people assume if you are at home with your kids you must bludge of the government or fall into a catgory of which people think you are at the low end of society. Waiting til you are older dosent mean you are safe from the fella running off, marriage break ups, redundancy, your partner passing away, there are a million reasons to find yourself either in the poo financially or without a Mum and Dads support. And Id think those situations make up a generous proportion of the single or no income families that require financial assistance. I know plenty of young Mums and a few solo Mums that do a bloody good job at raising their kids, and its not about having a dad, but family and support. As they say it takes a village to raise a child. Any fool can have a baby, being over a certain age dosent suddenly turn you into a wise old owl that knows how to do this parenting thing, its hard work. I bet youd struggle to find any Mum or Dad that knew exactly what they were in for when the made a decision to keep or plan a baby
People make choices based on the resources they have, unfortunately some people dont have too many options, but who the hell are we to point the finger at say thats not ok

I didn't take the OP post to mean "all women with kids at the supermarket are shit mum's", I feel you are taking it personally, perhaps too much so.