Things that haunt me

[sinfull]

THINGS THAT HAUNT ME!

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If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

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Can you cry under water?

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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

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Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

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What disease did cured ham actually have?

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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.

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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the T2 lane ?

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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?





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[Number One]

thanks sir I enjoyed that giggle sorry all out of love for you...nother time maybe

[ynot slow]

Why do open 24 hr service stations have locks on the doors,and you get no service?

[ynot slow]

You can prick your finger in public but can't finger your prick in public.

[one fast tl1ooo]

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How
important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why
do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your
thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once
you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why
does a round pizza come in a square box?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What disease did cured ham actually have?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How
is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why
is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like
every two hours?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If
a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Why
are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why
do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why
do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why
is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Can
a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If
the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out
of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why
does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If
Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If
corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If
electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do
the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why
did you just try singing the two songs above?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Why
do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a
hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did
you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


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