A Joke

[Biff]

A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it."

"When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder.

"Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it would make 280, but it struck a phone line hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."

"Is that when you swore?"

"No, Mother," says the nun. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away."

"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Mother Superior again.

"Well, no." says the nun. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"
"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed elder nun.

"No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball."

"Did you swear THEN?" asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient.

"No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about six inches from the hole."

The two nuns were silent for a moment.


Then Mother Superior sighed and said , "You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?"

[bugjuice]

you should change the title to - Bad joke..

[Riff Raff]

The jokes ok - but I much prefer your sig "Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine and into your brain. That's where shitty ideas come from." - can I have it as mine?

[Biff]

The jokes ok - but I much prefer your sig "Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine and into your brain. That's where shitty ideas come from." - can I have it as mine?

Ok - you take it. I'll swap to another.

And here's something just for you.

[Waylander]

It's been posted on here before, one of the joke threads I think. Not that funny the second time around.

[Biff]

Well don't read it again then, ya miserable bugger.

[MSTRS:Me]

After having been commissioned by God to take a survey of how man was doing on Earth, St.Peter now stood before his boss ready to present his findings.

"Tell me, St. Peter, what have you found out?" God asked.

"I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, but the people are behaving in a sinful manner. There's
drugs, alcohol, murders, you name it - another Sodom and Gomorrah.
But the worst is this new obsession with oral sex. According to my survey, 88% of the population is doing it. Even four out of five dentists recommend it. I'm afraid the oral sex thing has reached epidemic proportions on Earth.

"Hmmm," God said thoughtfully, "Do you have any recommendations as to what should be done to put an end to this sexual perversion?"

"I think we should send a message to everyone on Earth who engages in oral sex. The contents of that message should tell them exactly what will happen to them on Judgment Day if they do not stop this type of activity." replied St. Peter.

"That is an effective solution," God stated, "but I think that instead of punishing those 88%
who practice oral sex, we should reward those 12% who refrain from it. Let's send a letter that's personally signed by me to each one of those good people." And so they did.

Do you know what the letter said?
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No?
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Hmmm...You didn't get the letter either, huh??