What would you do?

[Headbanger]

Maybe shes just concerned for her kids?

Nah, she must be a man hating crazy bitch out to destroy you.

[avgas]

Whoa, slow down. That's all on the basis of what you believe. It is possible, even likely, that she genuinely feels afraid (even though misguided) for the kids' safety.

errrr then she would say so - reread what she has said

[Urano]

i'm sorry for the sad situation.

[crazyhorse]

Nathan obviously had a fantastic time with you , and unfortunately could not hide his excitement from his mother. My children were on the back of my bike at the ages of about 7 and 9. My ex husband did not argue it - and nor would I let him., if it had come to that. I would listen, but do my thing. Purely because my children too, ARE precious to me, and I would do nothing to harm them. They both are fully into motorcycles now too - although dirt over road.

I feel your pain. In my view, your ex wife was the one who increased the time on the court appointed hours, so if it goes to court, I would think the judge would view it as you are more than adequate to have them for longer periods of time. Unfortunately she who giveth, taketh away. But you still have what the court said.
In my belief, she cannot stop you from taking the children on the bike - they are in your custody and there is no age limit. You no doubt do not tell her what she can or cannot do whilst she has the children in her possession, so yes, stay calm, and let her know you are a parent first and bike or not, that does not change, You do not ride like a maniac with children on the back, and in fact, probably take more care as I surely did.

If it went back to court, you would obviously provide the gear you have purchased for your son which proves that you are putting safety first. Motorcycles are for enjoying the simple pleasures of life, the smell of the grass, cowpatties (couldn't help that one), harvessted paddocks, etc, all the things you do not experience in your air conditioned car. But also, you are sharing your own passion with your son.

if you went sailing, the boat could tip over and he could drown too - happens just as frequently as everything else iin life.... Do not put your ex down to your kids, even though you may want to -esp at this time.
All the best

[2wheeldrifter]

Hey Raftn god your bitch sounds just like my bitch... !!

Going back to the setup you before means that its a full back when shit hits the fan... shes just pissed at you... and to hurt you is to go back and stick to the agreement which hurts you and your SON which the cow doesn't understand.
All you can is abide by the agreement, to get it changed is a hassle and back to the lawyers and more money you waste. But the children are in your care, and that has nothing to do with her. The only way she can stop you is if it's writen down and passed through the lawyers not to take your son on your bike till the age of????
So no more favours and stick to the letter.

Fuck I wonder if my ex and your are sisters! My ex says the same ''MY kids" like fuck lady! "OUR KIDS" get it right you selfish bitch!

[blackdog]

i reckon nathan is probably about old enough for that first sx85 (or similar) that he can ride 'til his hearts content on your court appointed days, and talk about nothing else on hers........

[KapitiLizard]

I think that there is some good and bad advice here. I think rustyrobot made some good points about how to communicate with her, and I would recommend that you keep a record of any agreements (e.g. print out any emails).

I think her email has a mix of fact, concern (genuine or not), emotion, and an element of "I've got control". The bit I would be worried about is getting drawn into the emotional part of this. If you can stick to the facts and ensure that your son is not drawn into the discussion or without having him to take sides (e.g. does he believe Mum or Dad over motorcycle safety).

If she is a control freak you may be always fighting this, but if she is just having an emotional outburst you may be able to let her get over it. Taking your boy fishing, yachting, rock climbing, golfing etc might be a way of easing any tension, plus you/he might enjoy it also. I'm not suggesting for one second that you don't take him out on the motorbike again if he enjoys it. Showing you are able to compromise (not to be read as giving in) may work in your favour down the track if/when you do go to court.

I don't imagine any judge would be stupid enough to support her attitude of telling you what you can and can't do unless you are genuinely putting him at risk. Motorcycling is still legal and I am sure the motorbike community would crucify any judge that tried to stop you riding with you.

Unfortunately dealing with an ex can be a tricky situation. I wish you all the best in dealing with this one

[allycatz]

Go along with the court appointed days. She will eventually want extra days to herself again and let you have them....play it safe with the bike riding but bear in mind if you let her control this activity it will be the first of many eg falling off a horse, planes falling out the sky, falling out a dam tree even. If your bike is legal and roadworthy and you have a clean driving history I cant see the problem. What you do with your son in your court appointed time (as long as its legal) is not for her to control and likewise when your son is with your ex. Good luck

[raftn]

Regardles what I do, it is a lose /lose situation for me. I either lose the kids for the extra time I have them( outside court appounted times) or I lose the special time I have with Nat on the bike.

Nathan struggles with his learning, and has not devloped good social skills because of it, he has been bullied, yet his face lights up when he talks about his time on the bike. He is very proud of DADS bike, and even puts motorbike DVDs on so we can watch them together. Hanging out with outher riders, and talking about them. He loves it, I wouldnt take or force him on the bike unless he wanted to go.

I have always attempted to be delicate in my dealings with the x, often being the one who backs down, to advoid issues with the kids and I never run her down in front of the children, in fact I do the opposite. I have never, nor will I ever resort to using the kids as a pawn. It is too easy to destroy kids , because the parents carn't keep it to the selves.

In this situation if she takes the extra time off me, and the kids ask why, I will tell them the truth. I wont run her down , but will explain why. Then they can make up their own mind.

I have no desire to go back to court, the first experince was draing enough, but I also dont belive a court in the land will find in her favour. In fact the last time she tried such a thing the judge roasted her.

So for now, I am going to call her bluff. After that I will take one day at a time.............


If she takes me to court I will take the oppournity to cross apply for shared custody 50/50, something she point blank refuses to grant me as it will reduce her child support.

[BiK3RChiK]

Well, Roger,... sounds like you have some direction. I feel for ya man! That's just spiteful on her behalf.

Take care of yourself and I hope it all works out for you.

Mavis

[FROSTY:Me]

I'd suggest going to court and requesting that 50/50 arrangement. My OPINION is that the precedent has clearly been set for this to be set as a permanent arangement.
You could actually quote her letter as the reason why its needed to be court ordered

[mashman]

the judge roasted her

I see how she gets her way then (will remove if inappropriate)