What would you do?

[raftn]

I currently have access to my children form wednesday night to SUnday night, and also the following wednesday till 7.30pm

Last weekend I took my son for a ride to have morning tea with his Nana in Matakana.


LAst night I recived this email form the x wife.

From this date we will be going back to the court appointed access arrangements (Thurs - Sun fortnighthtly).

I am disappointed and disgusted at your apparent disregard for our son's safety, and my repeated plea that you do not travel all over the countryside with him on the back of your motorcycle.

Both my children are extremely precious and I can not understand why you would place life and limb at risk unnecessarily. Nathan is too young to understand the dangers, and I would expect you, as an adult (and parent) to be far more responsible than what you are over this issue.

Sailing and fishing were far better father/son/family activities than motorcycling!!!

If you continue to be so senseless, there will be further issues concerning access to contend with.


I dont think their will be a court in the land that will deny me my Kids because I take one of them out for a ride occasionally. But She has now canned the extra days i was having because of this. What should I do next.

Cave in?.............or let this go to court and fight for the extra time with them?

Please note, I have purchased all the correct fitting gear for my son, Helmet that fits, proper boots, bike jacket, bike pants with lining and padding and gloves.
I love my kids to bits and take his safty very importantly when he is on the bike.

[JimO]

fight, they are your kids as well as hers

[vifferman]

How old is Nathan?

[dogsnbikes]

And how tall is the boy?

[rickstv]

The court has given you access for a certain time and your x has added to that by giving you an extra couple of days a fortnight. she is unfortunatly within her rights

You may have to grovell.

Rick

[Bald Eagle]

And how tall is the boy?

Tell the bearch no access no support $$$

[hayd3n]

how old is the boy?

[raftn]

How old is Nathan?

He is ten........

[steve_t]

So you've been appointed time by the court and your wife has given you extra time on top of this which she has now rescinded because she doesn't want them on your bike. Hmmm... I don't think there's much you can do. Legally, you're only entitled to the minimum hours appointed by the court. The extra time has been a bonus. As crap as it is, I don't think you can do much. It's a choice of take them on the bike and only get court appointed time, or don't take them on the bike and get extra time (hopefully). Sorry to hear about your horrible circumstances

[BiK3RChiK]

Grief! They are your kids as much as hers! When they are with you, surely you can do whatever you like within the law with them...

Fight for them, I say....

[rustyrobot]

Honestly, if I was you I would tackle this as softly as possible. I know ex-partners are likely to get your heckles up, but I just can't see it working out better if you go in fighting. Perhaps you could explain (again?) all the precautions you have taken, how important your son is to you, how HE is the one who misses out if she tries to punish you by restricting access further. Yes, there are dangers motorcycling, but there are also dangers sailing and fishing (depending on where you fish). There is also danger in driving him to and from each other's houses. Many people take their children riding, or allow their children to ride their own motocross bikes. I think that what you are doing is not 'senseless', and you are in fact being very sensible by providing all the relevant safety equipment. You could explain to her what you and your son enjoy about riding together, how you get to see parts of the country others don't. Write your reply email and dont send it. Come back to it a little while later and re-read it before you do send it. Perhaps get a friend to check it out, it is SO easy to mis-read the emotional intention of emails, so language has to be kept as neutral as possible. We 'have' to use email to discuss custody and other arrangements around my 6year old step-son, so I know how easy it is for it all to go wrong over a few mi-read statements!

Good luck!

Oh, and acknowledge her stuff too. I think it is understandable for her to be afraid, especially if she doesn't ride or enjoy riding. Part of being a parent is letting our children do things that scare us.

[p.dath]

Been there, done similar. Go to court and get the order amended.

[Mudfart]

this is war, dont be a nancy because its your ex. She is obviously going in guns blazing.
Does she smoke? drink? drive badly? is she promiscuous? anything you can get her on, do!
Telling you your not allowed ANY joy in your life? who the fuck does she think she is? Still your wife? NUP.
If she aint giving you her ass, her opinion of how you spend your time has no relevence to your existence.
What you do with your son during your court appointed time is your business.
If she does smoke btw, she is poisoning your kids. I suggest you raise this concern as a responsible parent in court.

[BMWST?]

and stress the fact that "all over the countryside" was actually a visit to Nana

[raftn]

Honestly, if I was you I would tackle this as softly as possible. I know ex-partners are likely to get your heckles up, but I just can't see it working out better if you go in fighting. Perhaps you could explain (again?) all the precautions you have taken, how important your son is to you, how HE is the one who misses out if she tries to punish you by restricting access further. Yes, there are dangers motorcycling, but there are also dangers sailing and fishing (depending on where you fish). There is also danger in driving him to and from each other's houses. Many people take their children riding, or allow their children to ride their own motocross bikes. I think that what you are doing is not 'senseless', and you are in fact being very sensible by providing all the relevant safety equipment. You could explain to her what you and your son enjoy about riding together, how you get to see parts of the country others don't. Write your reply email and dont send it. Come back to it a little while later and re-read it before you do send it. Perhaps get a friend to check it out, it is SO easy to mis-read the emotional intention of emails, so language has to be kept as neutral as possible. We 'have' to use email to discuss custody and other arrangements around my 6year old step-son, so I know how easy it is for it all to go wrong over a few mi-read statements!

Good luck!

Oh, and acknowledge her stuff too. I think it is understandable for her to be afraid, especially if she doesn't ride or enjoy riding. Part of being a parent is letting our children do things that scare us.

What is really wierd, is that she was the one who taught me to ride, but she left me for an older guy who is the real FUn Police, and now she is very anti bikes.....go figure?