AAAAAHHHHHHH! Teenagers!

**Love my Bonnie** · 30th March 2010, 06:40

Thank you all so much
Its nice to know there are others out there who have the compassion to listen to me moan and then offer advise.

I refused to make his lunch for him this morning and wouldnt give him gas money , he's not a happy camper.
I phoned his old man last night, and for once he is gonna try to help. Im not holding my breath though.
My plan is to go away on my bike for easter & leave him here to fend for himself, maybe some time alone will give him (& me) time to think.

Thanks again

**SMOKEU** · 30th March 2010, 06:47

Originally Posted by Edbear

Hopefully you will get to grow up and learn something before you get into serious strife. We were all young and stupid once, but most of us grew up despite our best efforts to stuff up our own lives.

Drugs are about the dumbest thing you can do.

Weed isn't drugs though.

**SMOKEU** · 30th March 2010, 06:54

Originally Posted by Love my Bonnie

My plan is to go away on my bike for easter & leave him here to fend for himself, maybe some time alone will give him (& me) time to think.

Thanks again

Party at your place!!!!!!

**Love my Bonnie** · 30th March 2010, 06:57

Originally Posted by SMOKEU

Weed isn't drugs though.

i gotta agree with you there

**Love my Bonnie** · 30th March 2010, 06:58

Originally Posted by SMOKEU

Party at your place!!!!!!

Doubt it, the land lord lives across the road.

**marty** · 30th March 2010, 07:21

That won't stop him. Rewarding him with a weekend at home by himself is probably not a good idea. As a solo mum you're going to have to man up and deliver consequence. It's almost as simple as that - you (and him) don't HAVE to do anything, just be happy to accept the consequence of not doing it. He doesn't HAVE to go to his course - what is the consequence of not going? Who is he going for? You or himself? If you go away and leave him at home, if he is prepared to live with the consequence of being in trouble with you, then he WILL have a huge party. If you deliver consequence you have to stick by it, and not fold - many parents have less willpower than their teens, and the parent will fold first - giving money, or saying the dishes can wait. I get my 18 year old son out of bed at 11pm if he has been asked to do the dishes then slopes off to bed without doing them.

I have a lot of audio and written stuff on parenting and consequence - PM me if you want to hear some of it.

**Love my Bonnie** · 30th March 2010, 07:35

Sound advise Marty, but leaving him behind as I ride off on my bike to stay with his big brother in Coro is HUGE punishment for him.

Believe me, I dont usually back down, but when I get the urge to slap him, I tend to back off.
We are having problems with respect, I dont think bashing him is gonna improve things around here.

**marty** · 30th March 2010, 07:50

Some children seek punishment - it's a way of confirming their actions.

Punishment can be a consequnce, but it has to fit the behaviour. The 5 F's of consequence: Fast, Firm, Fair, Friendly, Forgotten.

Why are you punishing him? Does it fit the crime? If he does the crime again, what is the punishment going to be for that?

**Edbear** · 30th March 2010, 09:04

Originally Posted by SMOKEU

Weed isn't drugs though.

Originally Posted by Love my Bonnie

i gotta agree with you there

Sorry, if you're referring to Marijuana, you are very much mistaken. It is an insidious drug and modern research has painted a fairly dire picture of it long term effects. It's like many issues, people believe what they want and dismiss any evidence to the contrary. Those who want to smoke it argue it is safe until the cows come home.
Like Dementia, the effects are not noticable to the person so they don't realise they are being affected, and being gradual, their close family and friends may not realise what is happening to them for a long time.