The Movie Review Thread

[Waihou Thumper]

Elysium was a good yarn. Nice special effects and I thought it was good enough to capture my attention for the duration...
Annoying South African phrases though, most wouldn't even understand...
It was sort of like Terminator/Crysis 3 mixing gaming and movie...

[BuzzardNZ]

Elysium was a good yarn. Nice special effects and I thought it was good enough to capture my attention for the duration...
Annoying South African phrases though, most wouldn't even understand...
It was sort of like Terminator/Crysis 3 mixing gaming and movie...

I agree, one of the best SciFi flicks I've seen in ages. I even rate it better than the new Star Wars film!

[AllanB]

Elysium I enjoyed. A good Si-Fi yarn even though you know the story. Mind you I find now after decades of movies I can predict most - every now and then a original arrives - INCEPTION was such a movie though even the dream part was a variation of the Matrix 'sleeping' sequence.


I've been off with a summer flu (WTF) this week - watched the last Jurassic Park movie with my 17 yr old daughter as her friends rave about it (one has watched it three times). Alas to me if was the same as the original, and the one following and ...... nothing new or fresh at all. I am unsure what all the hype was over - I suspect it was a long time between versions and old and new viewers had interest.

[Akzle]

INCH'ALLAH

drama. totally not my genre. tells a story and does it fairly well (hint: teh jews are cunts)
BUT STILL WITH THE PISSED CAMERA GUY EFFECT FOR NO GOOD FUCKING REASON. srsly. french canada fucks (and everyone else) STOP THAT SHIT.

has subtitles for those who dont speak french or arabic, so if you dont like reading movies... fuck off.

as entertainment... 3/10
a lot of this i view as handy-cam, day-in-the-life-of,
so holds nothing new or terribly thought provoking. for the average white nigger, you might be all like "aww, so that's why palestinians dont like jew cunts"

as a drama 9/10. it was dramatic.

as a movie... fuck i dont know. but it looses srs points for having the pissed-camera-guy thing.

watch it. probably.

[Akzle]

Seen also
gravity
taken3
the heat
the matrix
minions (watch)
hot shots 1&2 (watch)
reviews to follow

gravity:

sandra's bollocks. only one wet tee scene.

for a movie with only 2 actors (and i don't much care for the other guy either) it managed to fill the time. fuck knows what the story line was, which means it was shit.

a lot of spinny-camera work which added exactly fuckall.
*some* not-shit imagery, but so minimal and so widely dispersed it isn't worth mentioning beyond mentioning that it isn't worth mentioning.

your life will be no better for watching it. 4/10


taken 3:
if you've seen the first two. you've seen the first two.
this one puts a slight kink in who gets kidnapped but the story's much the same and the dialogue is just as contrived. bonus is that it has a black guy, and it's less "taken" than the first two.
infact, from when i've seen it, i've already forgotten it.

7/10. mindless time-filler.

the heat:
i'll only review this to say: don't fucking bother.
fat people are disgusting. fat women more so, and fat women that literally swear for the entirety of a far-too-long movie, they can fuck right off (it's the same fat bitch in SPY, which is also a shit movie)
also has sandra bollocks.

thoroughly not worth the time. can i give a 0/10? surely they must get SOMETHING for going to the effort of making a fucking movie.... but no. 0/10.

...okay. maybe 1/10 because it had some lulz. but not enough to make it worth enduring the full movie.

the matrix:
once upon a time i knew every fuckup in this movie. i can still pick most of them.
a shame it wasn't longer, really. and less shit. not that it IS shit. it just could have been less shit.
well ahead of it's time, to use a cliché.
worth a revisit, maybe every decade. it's a shame the special effects have become so mainstream they can seem blasé on rewatch.

two french words in a sentence, do i win anything?
8/10. because matrix is matrix.

minions.
i enjoyed. other adult companions did not. children did (twice)
that said, i still dont know what happens in the middle because i fell asleep/passed out drunk both times.
7.5/10 if you have to sit through a childrens movie, there's worse ones.

hot shots':
just watch them. they're funny as fuck. 9/10

shrek 3:
they're milking the franchise, but still some lulz. as above, there's shittier kids movies to suffer.

BTW: you're welcome kb. i do this for you, y'know.

[Waihou Thumper]

Doctor Foster is good! Very good...
Just watched all 5 epsidoes back to back last night...Man, what a cliffhanger.

Suffice to say there has been a second season commissioned by the BBC...I don't know how that will pan out but Gemma (Suranne Jones) is a babe for sure.

[Waihou Thumper]

The Affair Season One and Two...
This is a Showtime Drama/Mystery with Dominic West...
Very good and some pretty good smutty scenes too.....
Keeps you guessing throughout!

[Jin]

Watched spectre last night. Awful.

[Waihou Thumper]

Watched spectre last night. Awful.

Yep, I think the James Bond Franchise are now more about advertising Aston Martin, Taittinger, Omega, Tissot etc rather than a movie that is good viewing.
It is more a bout how we can best advertise these commercially attractive toys to the public...
I think also, 'James' is tired of these, think he has been quoted as saying something of the sort, 'I am over this....'

Isn't the daughter of Broccoli still involved with the franchise?

[Akzle]

The Lazarus Project

5/10
it doesn't have a soundtrack as such, more some drunk guy dragging a violin across a piano. for the whole movie.
pissed camera guy
lacks any real intrigue
well acted
poorly filmed, scripted, put together.

someone may enjoy it. but it wasn't me.

[FlangMasterJ]

The Gift http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4178092/

A young married couple's lives are thrown into a harrowing tailspin when an acquaintance from the husband's past brings mysterious gifts and a horrifying secret to light after more than 20 years.

Really enjoyed this. Directed by and stars the dude who was in Warrior with Tom Hardy. Also has Jason Bateman in it who doesn't get much recognition even though he is an awesome actor.

Great intensity and twists in this film.

8/10


Soaked in Bleach http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3253624/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Tom Grant, a private investigator once hired by Courtney Love, reveals his take on the death of Kurt Cobain.

I never really looked into Kurt Cobain's "suicide" but this film really opened my eyes. Courtney Love was a manipulative, scheming and evil bitch. I have no doubt foul play was involved and the evidence to support this is undeniable.

Following the release of this documentary there's talk of the case being reopened.

9/10


Slow West http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3205376/?ref_=nv_sr_1

A young Scottish man travels across America in pursuit of the woman he loves, attracting the attention of an outlaw who is willing to serve as a guide.

Not a bad flick. Great scenery and cinematography. Good chemistry between Fassbender and the young co-star.

6.5/10

[Akzle]

Bone Tomahawk - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2494362/

I really enjoyed this. Kind of like a Western era The Hills Have Eyes. Some next level violence.

i think this bit needs to be repeated

Some next level violence.

shit's fucken gruesome.

another one where i'm sure it's someone's genre but not mine. the first half sets the background for the second half and rather boringly. wiley west not-much-a-happenin 'murken shit kickers. the second half is a slow ass horror, dark folk eatin' white folk. the conclusion isn't.

too long by half, but wouldn't have been what it is if it wasn't. i doubt i'll watch it again. ever.
well acted, neat characters, just not much of a fucken movie.

if you're comfortable with gore, 6/10. if not, don't watch.

-edits-
i love the language.
this ties in with the characters and i suppose the script.

[Jin]

Yep, I think the James Bond Franchise are now more about advertising Aston Martin, Taittinger, Omega, Tissot etc rather than a movie that is good viewing.
It is more a bout how we can best advertise these commercially attractive toys to the public...
I think also, 'James' is tired of these, think he has been quoted as saying something of the sort, 'I am over this....'

Isn't the daughter of Broccoli still involved with the franchise?

Agree the Bond guy was looking tired and bored. But the main issue is the story was stupid and unbelievable. Even for a Bond film. Fill the movie with tried and true formulae, chase scene, revenge plots, nasty bad guy that just wont die, anti climatic outcome that was completely lame. Even Christoph Waltz who is a great actor was awful. I guess he did the best he could with the character given to him but the insipid lines were cringe worthy.

I guess the story had potential. But it was rushed and character development had the same level of finesse as you could expect in Azkle having a conversation with a jewish bmw riding lesbian.

Product placement was more blatant in Casino Royale which was a great movie. Anyway i think its time for a new Bond team. Actors, writers, directors etc coz the current lot have given up on doing anything interesting.

[Akzle]

the same level of finesse as you could expect in Azkle having a conversation with a jewish bmw riding lesbian.

i dont know what you think i have against lesbians or bmw riders.




...Or the Jewish.

And i am subtle as a motherfucker. Do you see? DO YOU SEE?

[Waihou Thumper]

character development had the same level of finesse as you could expect in Azkle having a conversation with a jewish bmw riding lesbian.

Insult!
Our esteemed provider of subtle comments and I must say knowledgeable to boot!
Maybe he should be scripting.....No...Casting, yes casting roles for the next one!