The Movie Review Thread

[R650R]

War Dogs 8/10 pretty good comedy action flick based on true story.....

[Akzle]

How to Organise an Orgy in a Small Town... 10/10

This was funny as F&*K (sic), very clever and original humour and just the right amount of T&A.
Me and my lady were pissing ourselves watching this, highly recommended, just realised has the lover Katherine Isabelle in it too from 88.
Excellent actors all round too, played their parts very well.

...some movies can be watched, and enjoyed, by anyone. those movies, i consider to be well done, they're what becomes 'the classics'

other movies have a target audience. frequently i find that that audience will feel aligned with the protagonists, in this instance: sexually repressed white middle class people.

a few universal giggles to be had, and some half-attractive women, and old beard-face was good value, but he was pretty much their trump card, and so used sparingly.

so.... if you're as-described, you might be more inclined to this one, otherwise, give it a miss. it's an hour and half of mildly-paced, wannabe-risqué emotionally underdeveloped american adults who alternate between trying to hurt each other and shag each other.

this movie could have been so many things, but ultimately it didn't really manage to be any of them.

5.5/10

[R650R]

...some movies can be watched, and enjoyed, by anyone. those movies, i consider to be well done, they're what becomes 'the classics'

other movies have a target audience. frequently i find that that audience will feel need equal level of intellect of the protagonists, in this instance: sexually relaxed white middle class people.

a few universal giggles to be had, and some half-attractive men, and old beard-face was good value, but he was pretty much used sparingly.

5.5/10

Talk about over analyse... fixed that for you.
So if you like a film it means you are like the characters in the film? So what happens when a white person likes Once were warriors???? Or avatar? Or freaking Starwars lol.....
BTW your eeview sounds like you cut and pasted it from some neo liberal white movie review site like rotten tomatoes lol

[R650R]

Why have I not seen this awesomeness before, found out via a FB friend post.....

Quentin Tarantino involved in producing, has Michale Madsen (always plays bad guys well) and the very lovely Leonor Varela

Plenty of biker babe TnA spread throughout film 10/10... some slightly cheesy lines though at times but very good.

[Akzle]

Talk about over analyse... fixed that for you.
So if you like a film it means you are like the characters in the film? So what happens when a white person likes Once were warriors???? Or avatar? Or freaking Starwars lol.....
BTW your eeview sounds like you cut and pasted it from some neo liberal white movie review site like rotten tomatoes lol

eat a bowl of cocks. i'm all original content ya poof (excepting the judicious application of meme for teh lulz). sexually relaxed? what fucking movie were you watching? (oh! the entendré)

and if you deign to READ, good movies transcend the characters, it's the shit ones that vibe with the similarly unwashed.

i suggest also, a looking-up-of-the-definition of "neo liberal" to be in order, for you.

[Akzle]

...some movies can be watched, and enjoyed, by anyone. those movies, i consider to be well done, they're what becomes 'the classics'

other movies have a target audience. frequently i find that that audience will feel need equal level of intellect of the protagonists, in this instance: sexually relaxed white middle class people.

a few universal giggles to be had, and some half-attractive men, and old beard-face was good value, but he was pretty much used sparingly.

5.5/10

also just thought i'd repost this, for you to read in the cold light of sobriety and see if you still think your clever.

[Akzle]

cop out

i don't even think brucewillisman is trying any more.
it's basically him and some retarded bill-cosby-wannabe-motherfucker, for 100 minutes of irrelevance.
if anything worthwhile happened it must have been while i was buffing my nails or snorting palm kernel.

2/10

[pete376403]

Underworld - Blood Wars. Usual vampire vs lycans but worth it to see Kate Beckinsdale in a very tight suit again. She asked aged remarkably well (either that or the Underworld franchise started while she was still at school)

[Akzle]

flipped (2010]
hell. this flick is PG and asomething of a love story, so you'll have to excuse the effeminate adjectives.

While the story is no great shakes, it is superlatively delivered, by everyone.
Set in 50s america (grounding it with the quaint ideas of then-educators, and the dawn of suburban hell) and following a handsome pair of kids who dance around their emotions in a pretty typical cat-and-mouse love game.
It's filmed as a first person narrative, well, ostensibly two, but there's enough there that it could be anyone's story,
It crammed a lot into it's 90 minutes, but it didn't feel rushed or even quick, which is fairly the hallmark of directorship.

It's a lovely film, and being PG, suitable for the fam, the protagonists being early-teens, I'd pick girls as young as 8-9 could enjoy, boys would be less likely to suffer it.

8.5/10. I will probably watch it again.

what the fuck cunt

[pritch]

When I used to read the film reviews in The Listener it struck me that to get a maximum five stars the movie had to be about four hours long, in black and white and made before 1950. It was a revelation to me when they gave the first "Star Wars" five stars. Most films that they considered brilliant I'd be inclined to pass on thanks. One of their reviews was a scornful "two hours gratuitous sex and violence". Much more my style.

Last night I was looking for something to watch and came across "Killer Elite" I didn't read the blurb, I chose it soley on the basis that I recognised Statham's face. I had been looking for something by Jean Reno and Netflix only seem to have 22 Bullets which I'd already seen. Reno has been in 90 odd movies, I'd have thought Netflix could manage more than one.

I'd been watching Killer Elite a while and the thought occurred that it was reminiscent of a book I'd read years ago by Ranulph Fiennes, The Feathermen. The movie is very different to the book but similarities kept occurring.

Reading the book had also been confusing because I had a previous book written by Fiennes about his experiences during the Dhofar rebellion and was starting on the basis that I was reading a factual account. This earlier book actually becomes part of the plot in The Feathermen/Killer Elite. The latter presents itself as fact but reads like rather far-fetched fiction. Today I see that when asked, Fiennes will neither confirm nor deny.

Anyhoo, once I stopped trying to work out what I was watching and just blobbed it, the movie became standard action pic fare. A team of assassins are hired by an Arab sheikh to kill a number of former SAS men who had been responsible for the death of the sheikh's sons, and to make the deaths appear accidental. The body count rises but not absurdly so. It's not great art but you shouldn't end up wishing you hadn't wasted about two hours of your life on it either.

[Akzle]

the answer man

contrived shit. i made it about half way through, but that was way, way too much.
it has the soundtrack of an 80's cartoon, a plot and script from some humorless valium-laden housewife, with nothing funny at all. ( tis described as rom com, and fails on both counts, probably)
it has that sheila from gilmore girls, which is the flick's sole redeeming feature, but she's playing a neurotic SWF, and the role/script hardly allows her to shine (or strip).

2/10

[R650R]

also just thought i'd repost this, for you to read in the cold light of sobriety and see if you still think your clever.

Trouble pulling out there... use a bit of lube and let it go.... ;p

[R650R]

Bad Moms 6/10 chick flick watchable with Mila Kunis, made my lady laugh and me too sometimes. Just watch the trailer that's most of the good bits....

Sully 10/10 The plane landing on the hudson river thing, definitely more drama than thriller but good alround.

[mossy1200]

Rogue 1

Not bad. Not brilliant.
Solid 8/10

[Akzle]

kicking the dog

highschool movies of the 80s: crackup
90s: acceptable,
highschool movies of the 2000s: shit.

low budget scata-frat-ological humors. few giggles to be had but pretty much a waste of time.

3/10

goon

remember that time you were looking for a french-canadian-hockey-fIghting-jewish-rom-com?

no? me neither. but this is it.

few laughs. and hockey fights.

3/10.